Not Cease from Exploration

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Yesterday's Bell Curve

Typical "Bell Curve" kind of day yesterday.

It started out on a bad note, with the girls having a delay from school. That translates to me having to re-arrange my morning schedule to take them to school. While I 1000% support the need of the District to ensure that buses can drive safely on roads, etc., I'd rather see a closure, as the delay just creates havoc on parent schedules, or worse yet, creates real problems for some parents who don't have the kind of job where re-arranging a work schedule is even possible.

Things picked up a little bit at work mid-day, as it looks like some work I did for year-end reporting was good enough. That's probably something of a mild understatement, but I am just glad that it's over with to be honest.

Things turned sour though in the afternoon, as I was disappointed in not getting a certain assignment and, worse yet, got the impression that I may end up continuing to work on the technology project that basically ruined the greater part of 2008 for me. The jury is still out on that, but let's just say an opening was created yesterday that makes it possible, and this was after some assurances that I would in fact be taken off of it.

The evening? Well the slow burn of subtle-but-crappy news in the afternoon pushed all the right stress buttons and that in turn translated into "I'm not happy so I'm going to eat too much", and it also sapped any ambition I had for getting anything done in the evening. I ended up going to bed around 10pm, which is early for me. The only saving grace was that I did spend some time reading before I actually turned the light out to sleep (I got a used book on Monday...the unauthorized biography of Frank Sinatra by Kitty Kelley).

The night? Not a particularly restful one, but no less restful that normal I suppose.

So now I'm looking at today, knowing that some of yesterday's pressures (make that all of yesterday's pressures) will still be there, plus some new ones. Oh well. I just need to pick my head up and get going with things, which includes acknowledging that which I can not change and changing that which I can. Easier said than done, I know, but still never the less true.

I'm told you "choose your attitude" every day, which I do in fact believe. The problem though is that you sometimes have to make that choice based on less-than-positive evidence, relatively speaking. Yes, "relatively" speaking, because I know that I have far more good than bad in my life, but that still doesn't dull the disappointments you find throughout the day, be they crappy decisions at work, etc. There are times when I just want to scream out "can I just get a little break here?", even when I know I've gotten plenty of breaks already. Does that make any sense at all? Hell, I'm not even sure, and I wrote that.

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