In news of the COVID-19 kind, it appears that we may have misunderstood how many, and how severe, the outbreak has been. Article links HEREandHERE. I can, by the way, already hear the anti-science crowd shrieking "See! So much for your Science!", which in and of itself is a great example of ignorance at its finest. Science is inherently an iterative process, whereby ideas are continuously tested and theories changed as a result of new information. As for the absolutes that some folks pedal, well...
This is not to say that this whole thing isn't stressful, and we know that sometimes prolonged stress leads to bad decisions and ideas. Speaking of stress:
(The ironic part: I been doing three of these things all along. Other tips HERE.)
Another way I try to minimize stress in my life: I keep a "To Do" list, diligently, I might add. It's right on my desk, directly to the left of my keyboard. It's important to note that the value of the list, at least for me, isn't in the idea that I get massive amounts of things done, although that's certainly a secondary benefit. No, the value of the list for me is in the idea that I have a list in the first place. I have a mind that tends to ramble about here and about, so having a list creates something of an anchor for me, a way to focus a bit more, a way to create order out of what would be some sloth-y chaos. In essence, the value of the list that it simply exists. Kind of like a cat 😸.
One thing that I didn't have on my list for the weekend (I tend to have a single list for Saturday and Sunday) was to go through the massive store of old papers I kept in the attic. It amounted to about three plastic tubs-o-stuff, some of which went back to the mid-'80s. Since yesterday afternoon was cold, wet and generally not all that Spring-like, I decided to make an ad-hoc addition to my list and tackle the store. The results?
Three tubs of storage stuff reduced to one tub of storage stuff.
Three large garbage bags of shredded paper, badly degraded binders and "why did I ever keep this?" paperwork.
Three bins of paper to recycle.
A shredder that was screaming for relief.
A few surprises (see below) in terms of things I found that I'm going to keep.
Some of this stuff may actually be helpful (i.e. samples of past work), others are just simply nice to have, such as the hand-drawn picture of my old, red, Ford Ranger, courtesy of my (now older) daughters. Still, others are just neat markers, if you will, of days gone past. The older we get, the more we have a tendency to forget the richness of our lives in the past (that's a fancy way of saying that we/I forget things).
Philosophy noted it's time to get some other things done before calling it a night. A kind of/sort of Monday awaits tomorrow. Just remember, let's be careful out there.
I choose the graphic in part because of the reference to Dr. Levine. Some of the article commentaries I've read about Dr. Levine has been utterly horrible. Pro-tip: Anyone who isn't sure as to what pronoun to use in reference to Dr. Levine can simply say "Dr. Levine". That's not so hard, now is it? For the record, she has been doing an outstanding job during the pandemic.
The above noted, time to throw some randomness into the blog-o-sphere.
* * * * *
Music
I have no musical abilities. I can not sing well at all. I had Band in junior high school but reading music just didn't seem to work for me; I think that the underlying concepts were just so alien to how my mind works that it was doomed from the start. The prior three points noted, I love music. As I've noted in other blog postings over the years, I almost always have kind of tune in my head. In fact, sometimes these songs are basically a kind of soundtrack to what I am going through at any given time in my life. As I think about now, well, this is the soundtrack song that's in my head.
The sentiment seems somehow fitting.
Prognostications
Regardless of when the worst of the pandemic is over, the world will be different than what we had before all of this started.
Social Distancing - I don't see everyone going back to the pre-social distancing ways of being out in public, at least not for most of this year.
Masks - That American sense of bewilderment at certain Asian countries where folks regularly wear surgical masks in public? It won't be so bewildering anymore.
Consumption - Having all of this time at home may just change consumption habits. The notion of going out shopping as a form of leisure activity may give way to viewing it as more of a necessity.
Delivery - Some folks are just going to get firmly addicted to home delivery, be it from restaurants, groceries or other things.
Retail Apocalypse - Sadly, this is going to hasten the demise of Sears/Kmart (what's left of it) and push JC Penny's over the edge as well. The good news? This is going to create opportunities for smaller/new companies to fill the void.
Healthcare - Nothing like a pandemic to get people to realize that healthcare is not a privilege, it's a right, and it's ridiculous that it is currently rationed in this country*. As it stands, people are going to grow even more impatient with the current state of American healthcare, which is a good thing.
Employment - A few companies will come out of this looking very good, regardless of industry. What will separate the heroes from the rest will be how leaders viewed on-going employment as an organizational imperative.
Organized Religion - Not going to church is becoming a habit for many that will continue after the doors re-open. For some, it may be the luxury of sleeping in on a Sunday. For others, it may be the very idea that "well gee, God did not strike down all those times I didn't go".
Closer to Home
On my (personal) end, the work related to finding a new job continues. There are a few opportunities out there, but this is a strange time to be in the job market. As I may have noted before, I genuinely feel bad for people have lost their jobs on the basic skills end of the employment spectrum. I'm sure I will eventually get something; worst case I'll end up doing something completely different.
None of the above means that I am immune to the stress of my situation and the pandemic environment. In fact, I've had trouble sleeping past 5am, since I am not as active as I should be I have more aches than I should at my age, and I'm struggling to keep a productive daily routine**. As it stands, the days are just kind of melting into each other. My saving grace here is that Ms. Rivers is keeping a regular work schedule, so at least there is some way for me to differentiate, say, Tuesday from Saturday.
On the good news front, the days are promising to get warmer, which means that I'll have more opportunities to work outside (we're going to plant a small garden this year & I have a few outdoor projects to complete) and get some cycling time under my belt. I just have to wait for it to stop, for example, snowing.
(*) Healthcare is rationed in the United States, based on ability to pay. The wealthy can afford the best healthcare in the world in this country; the poor? Not so much. One of many, many citations HERE. (**) Spoken from experience: One of the worst parts of finding a new job is the waiting between things you need to do as part of the process.
(What some would have you believe; note that it apparently stinks to be Hawaii & Alaska)
Preface: Right off the bat I will confess to the fact that I have a conflict of interest when it comes to this topic. Specifically, I have a daughter, Dr. Albert, who is a real-life scientist. This is in addition to my bias against bull$hit, especially as spread by politicians and the opinion media. On to the post.
* * * * * *
We live in an interesting age, one where truth can attempt to be re-written by a Sharpie and science marginalized because it provides truths that some voters may just as soon not want to hear. As if ignoring a fact somehow changes it into a fiction. Anyway, you can find some rational, non-politicized advice from scientists and medical professionals about the coronavirus HERE. A key point or two is noted directly below.
"A mask that you have never used before and wear all day long, that gets damp, is not going to help you. You may touch it a lot because it is uncomfortable, lowering its effectiveness.
Quite simply, good hand hygiene and face hygiene will protect you from a lot of illnesses, including Covid-19.
Risk is dependent on exposure. Some people will have an increased risk of infection, such as health care workers caring for patients with Covid-19 and other close contacts. For the general public in the US, who are unlikely to be exposed to this virus, the immediate health risk from Covid-19 is considered low at this time."
This is a serious, nasty business. As someone with asthma, I dread just getting a cold, as it takes forever for me to kick and inevitably ends up with me taking steroids that make me both bouncy and greasy (which, admittedly, is better than not actually breathing). Needless to say, I want to limit my exposure to the virus, and quite frankly, you should too, especially if you or a family member is at heightened risk for infection. Please take this seriously!
For the record, you will not get good information about the virus from talk radio or any single source, including (unfortunately) the United States government. I just want to put that out there, in case anyone wants to believe that coronavirus is no worse than the common cold.
Here are some additional sources of information that are not tainted by the political lens.
Again, please take this seriously by staying informed. Spend less time listening to politicians and more time listening to scientists and medical professionals. Have a plan for how you will manage your affairs if, for example, schools and other public places are closed. Stock up on medications. Have plenty of extra non-perishable food on hand. Avoid traveling if at all possible, especially by airplane.
Mostly though, be careful out there.
(*) Note that increasingly, it seems that attempts are being made to politicize information coming out of the CDC, including placing Vice President Mike Pence in charge of coronavirus communications (reference HERE). I am not suggesting that CDC information is unreliable, but I am stating that I would not solely rely on medical/scientific communications coming through someone who doesn't have a great track record when it comes to actual science (reference HERE).
True stories: When I was a kid, I found three experiences to be particularly traumatic.
#1) Dental Work
As a very young kid, we went to a dentist who didn't believe in using Novocain. Not a drop. As I type this, I still have a memory of that drill going into my baby teeth...the pressure...the pain...the smell. Fortunately, by the time reached about age 12, the old Dentist stopped practicing (that or Simon Wiesenthal finally caught up with him) so we started seeing a new dentist. This one was far more compassionate.
#2) Needles
Like most kids, I hated needles. What made me particularly bad with the pointy things was the fact that I had surgery three times between the ages of 5 and 7, so I got stuck a lot. It honestly wasn't until my 20's before that fear started to wain. Nowadays? Heck, I give instructions on the placement of an IV (top of the hand, thank you very much).
#3) Ash Wednesday
I loathed Ash Wednesday as a kid. I literally hated it. In fact, on more than one occasion I would become sick...real or imaginary...when the day came around. Why? Well, there are probably a few reasons, but three come to mind...
I simply didn't like someone smearing dirt on me. It made me feel filthy. Just writing that brings back memories of that gritty feeling as the dirty was spread on my all-too-large forehead. It reminded me of filled ashtrays at home.
Reminding me, as a young kid, that I was going to die seemed cruel, especially given my incredibly fertile imagination.
The exercise seemed so insincere, what with normally mean-spirited people walking around with this mark on their heads, saying "look at me, I'm so pious (in all of the wrong ways)". It was a kind of "black badge of insincerity".
What's kind of ironic is the fact that the first two items have completely turned around on me as I've grown older. I am border-line fanatical about my teeth these days, and I even had a dental implant done. As for needles, well, see above...I really don't mind. In fact, if it's something that will help me, well, bring it on. Ash Wednesday, it still skeeves me out. Luckily for me, nowadays I no longer have to pretend to be sick when the day comes around every year. I still don't, however, like to look at people with it on their foreheads.
Note: I was actually thinking of the Motley Crue song (as odd as that sounds) when I
came up with the title.
As I’ve noted here in the past, every year I set some
goals for myself.Some might call these
new year’s resolutions, but I've never thought of it that way. Rather, I think everyone should always have some set of goals
they are working towards, be they simple or complex.There’s just too much of life to be
experienced, and documenting the steps involved in that experience only makes
sense.
Anyway, as I began thinking about what I wanted to
accomplish in 2020, I decided to learn about some of the best practices for setting
personal goals.That turned out to not
be all that helpful.For example, there’s
some decent thought out there that says we should only set no more than 3 goals
for ourselves at any given time.That’s
something which simply doesn’t work for me, in part because my thinking and
interests can be so divergent, that I could never come up with just three.However, I did settle on “three” in a
sense:I broke my goals up in the three
categories:Personal, Professional and
Home.From there though, there was no
limiting things to just three.
In another vein, I am reviving a practice for 2020 that I had many years
ago, namely that of setting a theme for the year.This year, the theme is “Creating a New
Normal”.That’s an important idea for
me, as it seems like the past 10 years of my life have been just been a rolling
series of upheavals and dramatic change, far from anything that would seem like
“normal”.Sure, there was plenty of
change in the pre-2010 world as well, but things over the past few years just
seem like they have gotten particularly out of hand in that particular (change) department.
So, what am I planning?Well, there’s some usual stuff…
…lose some weight
…read more books (I read a lot, but I sometimes lack the
focus to devote to whole books)
…many projects around the house (such as creating a
walk-way to our garage)
There are also some new things on the list as well, such
as decluttering my vast store of stuff*.
Some of the goals are simply reminders to take the time
to do things I really enjoy, such as photography.
Mostly though, the goals are a kind of reminder that, since there are a lot of things outside of my control, it's important to focus on those things where my reach
does not, in fact, exceed my grasp.
Here’s to all of us creating a new normal in 2020.
(*) For example, I have every work performance appraisal
I have received since 1989.Why do I
need to keep that?
The older I get, the more appreciative I become of how
complex something as seemingly simple as “time”.
As a kid, time was much less fluid than it is now that I
am older.As a kid, Christmas morning
came and went by incredibly fast, but yet any given day of the school year
seemed to last a lifetime.As a
decidedly mid-50’s adult, well, time just seems to move fast…and getting
faster…all the time.It’s as if my life
is rushing towards something (yes, to be frank, the end of it).That makes it all the more important to
appreciate the here and now.
Part of appreciating the here and now rests with
understand what has come before.When I
think about 2019, what comes to mind is change.Probably more change, I will note, than many other years.
“I’m from Iowa; I only work in outer space”
(paraphrasing Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, responding to
whether or not he was some kind of spaceman)
I started 2019 working for a company that took over the
company that previously employed me.I
went from working for the same company for nearly three decades to (now) three
different companies in the span of three years.That’s a lot of change, and the fact that I’m here to write about it,
having navigated that change, says something good about me.
Company number two in this time frame was just about the
worst possible fit for me in terms of culture, business model and just about
any other dimension imaginable.It was a
place where I never would have sought employment myself.Yet as difficult as that situation was, and
it was pretty difficult, I managed to bring it to something of a
conclusion.Even in the difficulty of
working for a “worst fit” organization, I was able to gain connections with
some truly remarkable people.It also
was a stark reminder to me of how deeply ingrained the notion of work is to
me.A wise person told me that work is
important because, oddly enough, I am comfortable in the environment.I’ve filed that in the category of “Feedback
I don’t necessarily understand…but I will accept nevertheless”.
Company number three, where I am now, is something of a
gift, being a kind of anti-matter equivalent of company number two.Where the former was enormously large, the
latter is relatively small.Where I
struggled to understand my value in the organization (in fact, feeling lost and
devalued), now I know where I fit in and the value I provide.I owe a debt of gratitude to those who helped
get me here, directly or through encouragement, and I’ll do my best to repay
that over the years to come.
“I have met the enemy, and he is me”
There are no two ways around this:I haven’t done enough to take care of myself,
and that’s gotten worse in 2019.After
something of a frightening health experience last December, I’m left with the
prospect of a colonoscopy every three years for the rest of my life.Granted that’s not terrible, but it is a
stark reminder that the teenage years of almost super-human invulnerability to
all manners of physical neglect and abuse to self are long, long gone.No, at this stage, things will, in fact, wear
out, and what how I treat myself does matter.
There are, by the way, at least 876 reasons why I should
take better care of myself.That’s a
fact.What’s less factual is why I have
allowed myself to get to this point in the first place.Part of it, I am sure, is a kind of general
despair that comes from a horrible working environment (see above).Regardless, no manner of excuse is actually
sufficient.
“And there’s someone on my head, but it’s not me”
(Pink Floyd, Brain Damage)
When I think about the 11+ years I’ve written this blog,
one of the things that I am most proud of is the fact that I’ve allowed myself,
modestly I will note, to be somewhat vulnerable in terms of
self-expression.Now there are fits and
spurts where this is more prominent, but I can honestly say that what’s here is
pretty much me (all be it with hopefully spelling & grammar).I don’t know though that I’ve been fully
transparent over this past year.
I have been troubled on the career front (see above, and
some other postings), but pretty much kept the worst parts to myself.There are practical reasons for that (which I
can’t disclose), but it’s hard to deny just how dark that drove my life for the
first half of 2019.I still find myself
digging out of the emotional toll-hole it has taken.The good news though is that A) I am making
progress and B) I can at least now admit the problem existed.
Now I’m fully aware of all the learned advice about “what
doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, but I’m calling B.S. on that concept, at
least as it applied to the scenario above.I’m not stronger from that experience.I am, more correctly, feeling damaged, but at least recovering.For a person who is naturally wired to be
very self-reflective and critical, this past employment experience was simply
Hell.
I also think a lot about my late brother Chris.I had a very vivid dream a few weeks ago that
he was in, where I told him how much I missed him.He said, “I know”.That was a remarkable bit of coherency for
one of my dreams, by the way.Spiritual
people would tell me that was some kind of message.I don’t know about that part.What I do know is that when I woke up, it
didn’t offer much in the way of comfort.As difficult as the latter part of his life was, I still feel cheated by
his passing.
“Cheat your landlord if you can – and must – but do
not try to shortchange the Muse.”
(William S. Burroughs)
As something of a side effect to all the above, actually
writing these postings has become more difficult for me.I normally (whatever “normally” means) get
ideas for things and then just pretty much bang them out in an hour or
two.Occasionally I start writing
something and then come back to it later.Even rarer is a posting like this, that is written in parts,
stitched together like some kind of written Frankenstein’s monster.
Anyway, it feels as if I’m almost trying to punish myself
by not doing the things I enjoy.As if I
need to be punished for a year that was quite punishing enough, thank you very
much.It’s a good thing the sole, only intent
of these postings…and it’s 2,000 siblings by the way…is my own enjoyment, as
it’s been a disappointing year at NCFE.
“You and I have memories, longer than the road that
stretches out ahead”
(Paul McCartney, Two of Us)
There’s a real danger, I think, in spending too much time
in retrospect.As I used to tell my
daughters, it’s like driving a car:If
you spend too much time looking at the rear-view mirror, you’re not going to see
what’s in front of you.Granted though
that an occasional glance is actually prudent.
The task for me, at least as I see it now, is to pack all
of what 2019 was (the good, the bad, and the very ugly…some of which is noted
here, some of which is not) and put it away.We all have bad years, for sure, but they all come to an end as
well.As is our annual ritual, I’m going
up “to the cabins” for a few days of being unplugged from all manner of
Internets and Social Medias, which creates something of a natural re-set
button.There I’ll catch up on some
quality reading, do some off-line writing, spend some time hiking and maybe
take a few photographs, all surrounded by my wife and her family.It’s a kind of simple, gentle end to a year
that was far from simple…or gentle.
* * * * * *
All the best to anyone reading this, and I hope your New Year is full of promise.
I think that, in each of our lives, we have times and places where big, good things occur to, around, and for us. There are also times and places where genuinely bad things happen. Then there are the spaces in between. Thinking back over this past week, I'd have to go with myself currently being in one of those spaces between.
The week was intended to be what we all expect a vacation to be: Physically and mentally escape from the pressures of everyday life. In my case, that's a fancy way of saying "not be at work", where "work" is how I earn a living. That, however, was really not to be, as I found out during the week that several of my co-workers had lost their jobs. These are good people, and while I don't want to make this about the subject of corporate layoffs, I'll simply say this: I've been there, and I know the pain. I know that all of them will land on their feet, and I'll do anything I can to help them in that regard.
So what do you do when you try to escape work but work does not escape you?
In a way, given my experiences over the past year or so, the above isn't exactly shocking. Maybe it's a reminder of sorts, a lesson designed to teach the fact that you can't really escape certain things. Maybe the trick is to just seek momentary truces where available.
I, for one, am back at work tomorrow morning. Just about anything could happen. I could be laid off. I could be fine. No amount of mental gymnastics will have an impact on that outcome, which by now has already been determined anyway. Either way, I'm good with the outcome. To partially quote Quentin Crisp in The Naked Civil Servant, "you can't touch me now", although in my case that's because I've already felt the business end of (the rotten to the core term) rightsizing once; the second time would just be anti-climatic.
Now that I have the machinations of the corporate world fully covered, it's back to the beach. A few random photos and observations:
The sand crabs cared not our human concerns; for them, it's all about fish for dinner.
On Friday afternoon we sat on the beach for about two hours. I brought a book. Instead of reading it, I instead just watched the blue sky, the white clouds, and the rolling surf. #TimeWellSpent.
We really enjoyed our time in Sandbridge Beach. There are no hotels there; just two large condominium complexes (the one we stayed at is above) and many homes. It wasn't crowded and it was impeccably clean.
Finally, while I don't take too many videos (and I've never included a video I took on the blog before), I had to capture frogs at night. They are as good a send-off as I can think of when thinking about the week that past.
Yes, the video is mostly just blackness. Just listen to the frogs for 30 seconds.
Some folks I know received some sobering news yesterday afternoon. I'm not going to share the details, but suffice to say that it's a reminder that in this day and age, you really can't take anything for granted, no matter who you are and what you do. What I am going to say is that I am glad to know these individuals.
Outside of WhatsApp-ing like a maniac (see above), yesterday was spent at an outlet center, where I bought a pair of red Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers. It's the first time such things have graced my feet since Gerald Ford was President. I hadn't planned on buying sneakers, but the hole in my current daily pair sort of made the idea self-evident. I'll end up seeing just how well my feet feel in shoes that have less of an arch than your average Stanley Tools level.
(Ruby Red Converse Sneakers: If you click them three times you are magically transported to Shamokin)
New red sneakers noted, another sight to be seen was that of F-18 Hornets landing at Naval Air Station Oceana, which is conveniently on along the way between here and Norfolk. The jets themselves can be seen frequently flying in the area of Virginia Beach.
It's the sort of thing that you actually get used to after not too long a period of time.
Speaking of "getting used to" and "period of time", I did something last week that I hadn't done in over almost two years: I attended an event related to my prior employer. A colleague was retiring and there was a small get-together for her at a local restaurant. Saying that I was somewhat apprehensive at the thought of going is a bit like saying "there might be a Tuesday next week", but I am glad that I went. So many folks I know/knew have now left, either through voluntary or not-so-voluntary retirement that I no longer feel all that odd about the whole thing. In fact, I really enjoyed connecting with folks I spent nearly three decades working with back behind Channel 16. There's a not so difficult life experience to be learned from the whole thing, and maybe one of these days I'll actually grasp it.
As noted in the title, by the way, this isn't a very vacation-esque posting.
My favorite part about yesterday was going for a long drive in the evening. This is simply a very beautiful area. It's also incredibly flat: I checked the altitude three times during a 90-minute drive and it varied by a whopping 2 feet (from 5 to 7 feet). By way of comparison, I think I can walk out the front door of my house and walk 7 feet and see a change in altitude of 2 feet. I should have brought my bike on the trip.
Today will likely be spent at the Jamestown Settlement in Virginia. I've been saving my camera battery (I forgot the charger...) for this, and I hope to get some decent photographs. Here's to a sunny and vacation-esque day.
Sandbridge Beach, Virginia Random thoughts pinging through my head at the moment. Right Now...It's 8am and I am sitting at the dining room table of a condominium in Sandbridge Beach. I'd be typing this on the balcony, but it's currently over-run by something of a small swarm of dragonflies. The locals tell us that they are harmless (I already knew that) and that they kill all of the annoying flying critters (I already knew that too). I just have to get used to swarms of two-inch long flying assassins being around me.
Pill Load...Yes, this (below) is what I bring with me on vacation. I didn't bring my multi-vitamin, mostly because the bottle wouldn't fit in the ziplock back with the other stuff. For something of a science guy, I admit that I probably take too many supplements. In my defense though, the glucosamine and chondroitin I take really do help with my arthritic toes (yes, I have arthritis in my big toe on my right foot...and nowhere else...go figure).
On the good news side, I have no life-threatening illnesses, mostly stuff that comes from living an active life and getting older. By the way, there was a time when I didn't take anything. I literally could get up and go, and go to bed at night without having to swallow or inhale a blessed thing. On the Road...I felt literally battered from yesterday's drive. It was long, traffic was, at times, stupidly backed up, and my knee was hurting from having been bent for so long. While I can't do much about the traffic, I can adjust my seat for the drive back. Speaking of driving, we drove my Silverado down for this year's vacation, mostly out of a desire to have lots of room. Speaking of room though, I've parked in a garage, so I have a feeling that getting in and out of the parking space is going to require some patience. Thank God for the back-up camera. Work...I actually have to do something for (my professional job) work today. I'm putting it off, but that can't be forever. It's something I should have done before I left, and it's honestly not fair to stiff a team member and have her do it for me. There are times when I think I should have been an electrician. Band...I saw this in a restaurant we stopped at on the trip down here yesterday and thought to myself "what a cool name for a band!". Cultural reference, for the uninformed, HERE.
Anyway, I was thinking to myself, "If I had a band, what would I call it?". After all, I do have a bass guitar that, in theory, I am going to learn to play one of these days. I'll have to work on that thought. Today's Agenda...I have to get that work stuff done, as it's hanging over my head. Outside of that, probably some reconnoitering and planning for the week. From there it's anyone's guess. Happy Father's Day...to all of the Dad's out there. Fatherhood is probably the most under-rated job in the world. Those who do it well deserve our thanks.
When my daughters were younger, I used to tell them that everyone but them was Irish on St. Patrick's Day. They knew that wasn't true, by the way, mostly because their great-grandmother was about as Irish as Paddy's pig. Part of that was just a Dad trying to be a smart-alec. That part they got, all too well. Another part of it was the fact that, for a variety of reasons, I just wasn't really all that fond of being any part Irish. I know, that's an unpopular thing to say in these parts, but growing up was tough (side note, you can read another growing up story, this time about my wife, HERE), and there just wasn't all that much to be proud of, Irish or not.
Fast forward to the present, and thanks to the miracle of modern genomic testing, well, I might have been really lying to my kids.
Yeah, well, it gets better...
Now there is a bit of face-saving here in the fact that I also have a strong genetic link to England, specifically London...
The testing, at this stage, can't tell the difference between the British and Irish parts of my genetic code. I know, that probably sounds like blasphemy to any green-blooded Irishman, but this stuff gets more sophisticated all the time, so who knows what they will be able to tell me in the future.
As a kind of final note, I do read where some folks have concerns about their genetic data being used by pharmaceutical companies and law enforcement. To that I offer I following: I don't really care. Well, I do care in a positive sort of way in that if my bits-n-pieces of genetic data can be used to help identify disease treatments, well, I'm all in. As for law enforcement, well, last time I checked getting in fights with your siblings wasn't something that was prosecuted using DNA evidence, so call me unconcerned at this stage.
Closing out the books for 2018, thinking about what 2019 will bring. While I'm short of specifics, I do know this: The older I get, the more I realize that I really do have no clue what the new year will bring anyway. Why bother trying then? Because it's important to be more than just a spectator in life.
The above is not exactly profound, I give you that much, but as I've often times repeated in this corner of the Internet, it has the benefit of being true. While just about every year I talk/think/write about new annual goals, for 2019 I'm going to go a bit more in the general department. Why? Well, for the most part, I suck stink at achieving the personal goals I set for myself (I am far, far better at my professional goals). The logic defies me in some ways, as I always set detailed goals but then don't pay enough attention to them as the year progresses. That's no doubt a manifestation of my interest in far too many things.
Anyway, as I think about the new year, three things do come to mind.
First, I need to focus on my health. My whole health, as in physically, mentally and emotionally, mostly because I increasingly know that all three are connected anyway. It's time to being more strategic when it comes to my own wellness.
Second, I need to re-focus some of my career energies. While I loathe self-promotion, it's about time I stopped punching below my own weight class.
Third, I need to work at being happier. There's simply no excuse for not being happier. None. I simply have too many of the bases of life, such as an incredible partner, already covered. Part of being happier will be finding ways to help others, be it personally or professionally. And cats. By the way, WebMD has 15 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person, for anyone looking for concrete suggestions (and cats, by the way, didn't make the list).
Grated that all three of the above are probably manifestations of the same underlying things.
I hope that you (who happen to be reading this) are thinking about what you want to accomplish in the new year as well. My wish for you is that the new year brings challenges that are motivating, but not daunting. I also hope that we can all find ways to rise above the fog of negativity that seems to be gripping our nation.
Lastly, thank you for reading my stuff throughout the year. I appreciate your willingness to climb in what really is my head for a few minutes each week or so. If I've provoked a thought or even mildly entertained, well, that's a good thing. If not, well, I suggest you check out Andy Palumbo's blog instead. He takes nice photographs.
My wife is equal parts impressed and (likely) disgusted by my organizational skills related to Christmas. I can offer two examples:
I buy presents months in advance. This comes from times in the past when I simply didn't have an awful lot of money, so spreading out the cost of gift purchasing was a necessity.
I spreadsheet it all. I maintain a year-over-year spreadsheet showing the gifts I buy for everyone, including their economic value(1). I started doing this many, many years ago in order to make sure that, as I bought things for my daughters, they were all treated equitably.
Old habits are hard to break, which is why I still do these things. What's more, I can see a point in the not-so-distant future when I scale my holiday organizational efforts back. My life has been complicated enough, so why I continue to add to the burden, no matter how well-intentioned, is sometimes beyond me.
I just don't spreadsheet gifts for my daughters; the spreadsheet covers everyone. I literally mean everyone. Including people that aren't even with us anymore.
I had thought about modifying the spreadsheet to remove my late brother Chris' name, but I just don't have the heart to. In fact, I get some sense of momentary pleasure to look back on the gifts I had given Chris over the years. I always try to be very thoughtful about what I give to others; it's never about just gifts for the sake of gifts. Getting back to my late brother, holidays were something of a difficult time for him in the two or three years prior to his death, as he would routinely just not show up for the Christmas dinner I would host, in spite of assurances to the contrary. He would inevitably come up with an explanation after the fact, but the reality in hindsight (although suspected in real-time) was that he just wasn't well, and his abuse of things made going anywhere or doing anything just about impossible. I know this was especially true at Christmas, which I know is a particularly hard time for those who struggle. Anyway, as long as the spreadsheet exists, Chris' name will remain in column I, even though the cells will be sadly empty.
Christmas this year just isn't about the things on the outside. Case in point: I have a nasty habit of allowing things in my outside world (work and other pressures, as examples) to intrude into my inner world. Christmas doesn't get a special pass when it comes to that stuff either. This year I have three more specific things that are pinging around in my head like so many stray nuts and bolts placed in the fender of a mid-70's Chrysler(2). The specifics of the specific things aren't important and they don't really add to this narrative, so cryptic I will remain. Suffice to say, I'm trying to keep things in balance.
Part of keeping this in balance, at least for me, is having a plan. The late Dr. Gordon Livingston(3) once said that there are three keys to happiness:
Something to do
Someone to love
Something to look forward to
Planning, for me, takes care of items 1 and 3. I can honestly say that I have item #2 covered, a fact for which I am truly blessed. I do, however, need to plan...and act...more. Case in point: I read quite a bit about the benefits of disconnecting from things like social media, at least for some time frame, but I don't think that would work for me. I can, however, make some small changes, including moving my cell phone off of my nightstand and into my office.
Finally, there's also some benefit for all of us in taking stock of the year as 2018 rolls into 2019. One of the things that this far-too-fast-paced world takes away from us, as we instantly react to various sundry tweets and cat videos, is the time to really reflect on who we are, and what we're doing. This is important because we can't know where we are going if we don't know from whence we start, and there are a lot of places we all can be going to in the months and years to come.
Here's to a quick Christmas sprint.
(1) Economic value is, by definition, more or less what someone is willing to pay for something. From a practical standpoint, in this case, it's what something is worth, not necessarily what I paid for it. For example, if I buy something that costs $75 but it is normally priced at $100, the value for purposes of equitability is $100, not $75. I do, by the way, realize that this explanation is just about the least Christmas-y thing you will read all day today. (2) Urban legend (likely based on fact): Apparently as a way to show displeasure with their labor contracts or, just because they could, American auto workers would put random things in the cars they were building. If you ever had a 70's or earlier vintage American car, you know full well some of the quality "challenges" that came with the vehicles. (3) If I had to recommend just one book to anyone, it would be Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Dr. Livingston.
Twitter Articles. I don't mean articles about Twitter, but rather articles from (in theory) legitimate news sources that consist of 20%-60%+ Twitter quotes. I've literally seen articles that had something like two paragraphs of real content followed by dozens of Twitter references. This is lazy journalism at its very worst.
Devaluing Work. "She's just a waitress" (something I overheard not that long ago). It's time we stop, as a society, stratifying work by our perception of its monetary value. Want to know who the hardest working folks I know are? That would be anyone in a Call Center, Waiters/Waitresses, and most folks working at any Dunkin Donuts. All hard work is noble. The most valuable person in the world isn't Jeff Bezos or some Walton next of kin, it's a plumber when you have a furnace emergency in January. We need to stop celebrating athletes (who are just entertainers playing a game) and the rich/famous for no reason (Kardashians, for example) and start recognizing the folks on the front-lines of the economy. Oh, one more thing: The default tip in a restaurant should be 20%.
Facebook's Monopoly. I noted this in another posting as well. Facebook has simply grown too large, it has become too influential, and some of its practices are questionable at best (current reference HERE). That noted, it's too late to turn back the clock on social media, as it's not an important part of the lives of many. Where are the alternatives? I've done some research, but nothing stands out.
Manufactured Election Hot Button Issues (that die out the next day). This one is self-explanatory, but I'll offer an example...transgender bathroom scares. Yes, nothing gets the professionally paranoid more riled up than talk about men using the ladies bathroom. Personally, I don't care what bathroom anyone uses, just as long as they wash their hands and clean up after themselves. In fact, in Sweden, some of the bathrooms are gender neutral; think "all stalls". Anyway, the louder a politician yells about an issue right before an election, the more we should hold them (and their issue) in suspect.
Insignificant Penalties for Animal Abusers. Anyone who is cruel to an animal can very likely be cruel to a fellow human. Now I'm not suggesting life in prison for killing a dog (for example), but I am suggesting real jail time, not a fine and a promise to be good next time around. I'll note that I was once called "stupid" or something like that by a fellow commentator on a Scranton Times article. Of course, that commentator was posting under a pseudonym. Which brings me to...
Anonymous On-Line Commentators. Few things in this world are more pathetic than anonymous keyboard commandos. The Scranton Times is full of them. As a matter of fact, when it comes to the Scranton Times online edition and regular story commentators, I'm one of two who posts under his/her own name, which is kind of ridiculous.
Shopping on Thanksgiving, a.k.a."Let us give thanks for greed". There is no legitimate reason why a retail store should be open on Thanksgiving Day. None. Zero. Why is it so difficult to put greed aside for one day in this country in order to allow the families of retail workers to celebrate Thanksgiving together? You can find a list of stores that were both open and closed this past Thanksgiving HERE.
Expensive Engagement Rings. You can find an interesting article on this topic HERE (Sometimes the younger generations get it right). Look, if money is no object to you and you want to get an expensive engagement ring, well, more power to you. However, that's not reality for most folks, and the money spent on an expensive ring could be used for so many different and more important things. The whole custom was concocted by as a way to sell more diamonds (reference HERE) anyway.
I've never liked that word. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have three daughters, and if I heard someone refer to any of them as a "b****" in front of me, well, I would do violence upon them. Maybe I was just raised to respect people, women included. Call me crazy, but the idea that's it's okay to refer to a woman as a female dog never seemed right to me. The fact that this word has somehow become acceptable in modern society is sometimes bewildering.
I've seen women wear clothing that refers to the word "b****". Maybe it's an example of taking ownership of a truly bad word. I just don't though see how referring to oneself using a truly demeaning term is somehow empowering. If anything, it's a kind of validation of a disrespectful word used to describe a thought that's even worse. Granted, I know women that use that word with some frequency to describe themselves. While I don't like it, well, that's their business and not mine. I just think it's a horrible word (and this is my $10/year URL).
As a side note, and relating to the above photo, I don't hunt. Why? It's mostly because I have no desire to kill anything. And a lack of depth perception makes the idea of me firing anything a risky endeavor. If you hunt, well, that's perfectly okay in my book, provided that you do it responsibly and aren't needlessly cruel to the creatures you harvest. Again, I get it: The world certainly doesn't revolve around my opinions...but if it did...well, let's just say that "b****" would be gone, responsible hunting would be universally practiced and peanut butter would be banished (forever).
There's been a lot of talk about "government persecution" of Christians from some quarters in the United States. This is mostly voiced by folks who would have you believe that the government's failure to codify their specific religious dogma into the written law of the land, for all to follow (regardless of religious...or non-religious...affiliation), somehow constitutes an act of persecution. Nothing could be further from the truth, and Martin Luther King Jr. Day is a good time to remind us what just a real government persecution looks like, in the starkest of terms. You can read more about the letter noted below HERE.
There are quite a few of quotes floating around social media today from Dr. King, which is truly fitting. All of them (and this letter) serve to remind us that sometimes there is a high price to be paid for doing what is right. Sadly, in the case of Dr. King, the letter noted above wasn't even the highest price to be paid. For the record, I've read much of what has been negatively written about Dr. King (basically the fodder for the letter), and I won't dignify any of it by reference. What I will say this: Judge the man by what he said, what he represented, and what he accomplished. The fact that he made powerful enemies speaks volumes, both about his work and tragic history of racism in the United States. "Free at least, they took your life, but they could not take your pride".
Saturday, December 16, 2017
I've been working on something for a month or two now, something that's relatively important in the larger scheme of things, something that I should have started a while ago. As part of this work, I have two assignments that are due next Saturday. I've had over a month to do this work, and yet I'm still not there yet.
It might help to be a bit more specific.
I've been tasked to write two letters related to some of the events that have shaped my life over 2016-2017. At least two letters are the actual assignment; it could be more if I wanted to. My initial reaction? I think it was along the lines of "I could do this in my sleep, standing on my head, in the midst of aNyquil coma". As I explained at the time, I like writing and I write a lot. In fact, about half of what I write actually makes it on this site. Should be a walk in the park.
My assignment is due next Saturday, and I have one letter written.
Granted, the one letter happens to be four pages and 1,700+ words long.
I think that writing the first letter literally drained me...it was that kind of an experience. I am not an angry guy by any stretch, but yet the word "rage" is what comes to mind as the feeling I experienced as I pounded away on the key of mynewly acquired mechanical keyboard. I also confess that there is some colorful language used in the letter, something that you will not (make that "hopefully will not") see in my postings on this site. I'm not proud of the profanity contained in the letter, but yet it stays. The fact remains though that I still have a minimum of another letter to write yet, on a different but yet related subject, and I have...
...interest in starting it.
What will happen? I'll start writing letter number two on the different but related topic at some point this week, ready for Saturday's deadline. I'm also sure that once I start writing it, the words will flow out. It just works that way, at least for me.
The real story here is that I'm more or less apprehensive about starting letter number two. I don't know what will be evoked as I write, which I suspect is the point of it all. I don't especially want to experience those feelings, I don't want that seeming loss of control to occur again as my fingers go about pounding keys. However, as 2017 comes to a close, it's important to me...make that very important to me...that some chapters be closed.
So why write an admittedly cryptic posting about writing something else? Two reasons come to mind. First, by way of process, it's a kind of a jump-start to actually getting my act in gear and honoring my commitment to writing these two letters. Second, and probably more importantly, provoking and evoking thoughts is kind of why I pay for this domain registration every year. Maybe if someone reads this and thinks "gee, I know how he feels about having to face some mental baggage", well maybe I will have done someone or something good.
Maybe, just maybe, in the final analysis, this is all about legacies. We all create legacies by the way. Social media specifically and the Internet in general help to foster a sense of legacy, and in fact have a wonderful way of democratizing it all. I hope that part of my legacy...soon to be looking over ten years of this blog by the way...is the picture of someone never ceased from exploring (even if that exploration was mainly confined to the inside of his head).
Friday, December 22, 2017
Letter number two was completed yesterday evening. I even re-read it today. How was the process? Well, once I started writing, I would describe it as being "easy". There was no real jump-start to get the writing going; rather, I just started pounding at the keys and it came forth.
There are, by the way, rules associated with this assignment. Chief among them was the "no editing" rule. What I wrote is what I wrote.
I'm actually glad that this is done, and I do see the wisdom in it, although I do feel a slight sense of disappointment in not getting this done sooner. Like most things though, well at least for me, this was as much about the process as it was the actual content. The actual content of the letters, by the way, is pretty good. Even by my standards.
I normally don't like the idea of eating in a restaurant on Thanksgiving. Why? Well, I guess part of it has to do with the fact that I don't want anyone having to work on Thanksgiving, especially when it comes to serving someone like me. It just doesn't seem right, as everyone should be able to enjoy the holiday with their families. This year though, as a result of some changed circumstances, I actually did eat Thanksgiving dinner in a restaurant, and, well, it was a great experience.
Part of the story here goes back a few years to that period when I was going through a divorce. One bit of well-intentioned advice I received was basically that I should require my daughters to have Thanksgiving dinner with me. That one was tough. That whole first holiday season was difficult, truth be told. I always hated the drill of having to run between houses on holidays, and the last thing I wanted to do was to subject my own children to that sort of thing. A lesson of sorts was learned from that Thanksgiving, namely that giving thanks can't be forced. Since then, I've tried to balance holidays like Thanksgiving such that I can see my daughters, with minimal stress to them, without stressing myself. These days, my daughters spend Thanksgiving with their mother and family, and I typically see them in the evening or on the next day. That's the plan this year, by the way.
Moving forward, I've tried to create new traditions. Well, that's incorrect, as I've basically come to join my wife's family traditions, which usually means eating Thanksgiving dinner in Philadelphia. This year was a bit different though, as most of her immediate family was traveling over the holiday. What we ended up doing was finding a restaurant in southcentral Pennsylvania, where we joined my wife's remaining state-side sibling (plus husband and one daughter), and the aunt of my two stepsons.
It turned out to be a great decision, for the official record. It was a nice day for a drive to Annville. The food was great. Our server was terrific, and we left her a very generous tip. It was also nice not having to clean anything up. Yes, in a perfect world it would always be nice to have Thanksgiving dinner at home, but I don't feel bad about our choice this year.
The larger lesson here harkens back to what I noted previously, namely some sense of absolutes ("you must insist that your daughters...", "you should never..."), no matter how well-intentioned, aren't necessarily helpful. In fact, the world...and our collective mental health...can do with fewer absolutes. Save those for the things for when they are an absolute necessity. For everything else, well, it's always good to keep an open, less rigid mind about things.
Lastly, this is still (with about an hour to go as I type this) Thanksgiving, so it's wholly appropriate that I note how very much I have to be thankful for in this life. Compared to most, I have been incredibly blessed, many times over. These blessings are so abundant that, in fact, they are far too easy to take for granted. I need to work on keeping that perspective, and like most important things in life, that will continue to be more of a journey than a destination.
* * * * * *
A special note of thanks: More people actually read these postings that I want to admit to, and for that, well, I am very grateful. It's nice to know that I sometimes write things that others find worth reading. It's an even better thought that sometimes I may write something that gives another pause, that may leave someone saying "wow, I feel that way too" or momentarily takes someone out of their day. While I'd still write this stuff if no one actually read it, I'm very thankful that some actually do.
