For reasons that escape me, from time to time the following clip comes to my mind when I am dealing with stressful things...
Ironically, I didn't really like that Rocky movie (#3) as much as the first two.
Anyway, and without getting into too many details, it's been a bit rocky (no pun intended) on this end over the past few weeks. As usual, probably about 66% of that is just in my head, but there is that good third that is definitely sourced from the exterior. Honestly, the details are not all that important, other than to say that no one is sick, I love my wife, and my children are all doing okay.
One of the things that I have realized over the past few weeks is when I was younger, I had a much stronger tolerance for certain kinds of stress (of the 9 to 5 variety). As I've grown older? Well not so much. I suspect that, in those younger days, no matter what was happening in and around me, I always had that compelling reason to push through in the form of my young children. Failure...however you want to define that...was never an option. What happens when you don't have that compelling reason? That's the $64,000 question, and I don't have an answer, other than what Clubber Lang notes in the clip above.
I will note that I am not the only person of my age who has these kinds of feelings. What does differentiate me from others, maybe, is the unrealistic set of standards I set up for myself when I am earning a living. I am smart enough to know not to hold others to unrealistic expectations, but not smart enough to prevent myself from doing that same thing...to myself. What's left is a kind of opaque cloud that's settled on me, where it's difficult to gain the proper perspective. What isn't opaque is the fact that I wake up worrying about the 9 to 5 stuff most mornings. As in it's the first thought that comes to my mind. To be fair though, I somethings think those thoughts are new; maybe they are just continuations of what's pinging around in my head while I am asleep. That may, in fact, the scariest part of this posting.
In any event, the purpose, if you want to call it that, of this posting was to engage in a bit of venting. Which I've done. Do I feel better? I'm not sure. Regardless, here's something better...a video of Linda Ronstadt singing a song by the Hollies.