Thank You

Thank you one and all for the birthday wishes yesterday.  Every expression made me smile, which if you know me you realize that just isn't anatomically my natural state.

Yesterday was something of a milestone birthday by the way.  It's achieving one of those ages where I can see the world being different in front of me, all be it a world that is still many years away.  In honor of milestones and such, here are a few random thoughts about life that I've learned while getting older.

The Grass Is Never Greener.
I know, I've said this before, but with each birthday this thought becomes even truer:  The grass is never greener on the other side.  For the most part, we are all equally dysfunctional.  Everyone...every family...is struggling in some way.  Be it substance abuse, mental health issues, physical health issues or something else.  The only difference between all of us is the fact that some are better at hiding the struggle than others.

You Become What You Surround Yourself With.
This is what our parents tried to warn us about we hung around with the "bad kids".  I never had that problem myself growing up, but my late brother Chris did; our mother would say that "if there was one bad kid in the room, Chris would find him and make him is a best friend".  Where I've seen this play out in my own life is when I tolerate consistent and institutional negativity around me.  Granted that we are all negative sometimes, as life is far from sunshine, kittens, and rainbows.   However, it's important to not let yourself be continuously immersed in negative stuff.  Literally, the clouds block out the sunlight.

Always Sign Your (Real) Name.
I am proud of the fact that I own my opinions.  Whether it's here or responding via comments to some news story, I don't hide behind pseudonyms.  I really think the world would be a better place without anonymous Internet keyboard commanders.

The Greatest Battles Are Fought Within.
I've found...make that "am continuously being reminded that"...the vast majority of the time in my life, it's not the situation that's problematic, it's my reaction to the situation.

Always Assume Positive Intent.
Everyone is born innocent; it's life and choices that turn us into who we are and what we become.  That noted, always assume positive intent.  Even the worst of us has the potential to be and do good.  We all have a daily shot at redemption.  By assuming positive intent, we may just open the door for someone else to turn a corner, to give them a small chance to make a small change.  What's more, assuming positive intent is less about others anyway; it's more about who we are as a person and the choices we make.  Now, this doesn't mean that we ignore threats to our own (physical/mental) health, but it does mean that we should set the default switch positive.

Always Be Heading For The Light.
Trust George.

Leadership and Not Being Horrible

A friend of mine(1) recently shared on social media a bit of writing entitled The Church of Not Being Horrible by a gentleman named John Pavlovitz.  It's a nice read, and we can all use a bit less horrible in our lives these days.

The article also reminded me of something I've been working on for a while now, something that I really do need to finish one of these days.  That something is to more clearly define my own personal leadership philosophy.  I put a few minutes into it every now and then, but post some other things coming up in the next few weeks I'm going to really work on calling it more or less complete.

Anyway, at the center of my nascent leadership philosophy is a simple idea:

Be a decent human being.

Yes, I firmly believe that leaders, more so than anyone else in an organization, and regardless of who and what they lead, have a special obligation to be decent human being before anything else.

This doesn't mean that, for example, as a leader, you don't make tough decisions.  A leader can make tough and unpopular decisions, but still, do it in a way that holds to the spirit of being a decent human being.

Have to let someone who is performing poorly go?  Do it in a way that exemplifies being a decent human being.  That means, for example, making sure that the employee in question has been given ample opportunities to improve their performance.  That means that you have provided clear and concise feedback about what needs to be improved.  And you specifically ask them why they are not adequately performing.  That means when it's time to give someone their notice, you don't outsource the deed to anyone else, including Human Resources.

Have to reduce staff/lay someone who works for you off?  Be a decent human being and do it in person.  Explain the reasons behind the decision.  Show kindness and compassion.  Offer every opportunity available to you to help the employee find a new job (either in the company or externally).  Be fully present and accept responsibility for the decision, even if it wasn't yours entirely to make.  Accept the shock, anger and perhaps sorrow the person may be feeling(2) and demonstrate nothing but empathy in return.  Being a decent human being means that you don't "dump and run".

Dealing with a lot of change in your team/organization/company?  Being a decent human being means that you go out of your way to make yourself available to answer questions(3), even if you don't have all the answers.  It means that you have an information sharing switch that defaults to "share" unless there is a compelling business reason to do the opposite.  It means that you make dealing with your team's uncertainty a top priority instead of simply hoping it will go away.

Lastly, being a decent human being means that you are as friendly and respectful to the maintenance staff, cafeteria workers and all those others who serve you as you are to executives you want to impress.  Put another way, if you know the name of the highest ranking person in your organization but not the name of the person you see every day that empties your trash, well, I'm sorry but you're not succeeding in the "being a decent human being" arena.

By the way, if you think this is so simple that it doesn't need to be said, well, I'd say in return that you're not working in a typical organization these days.  As noted above, there's a lot of horrible going on.  This is difficult stuff, and I openly admit that I fail sometimes to be a truly decent human being.  That noted I do have one thing going for me:  I do keep trying (to be a decent human being).







(1) Michele; you can find her blog HERE.  You can find out more about her business HERE.
(2) Even towards you.  Note that they may want nothing to do with you, and that's their choice.  Your choice, however, is to be a decent human being.
(3) As opposed to avoiding questions.

Making October Great Again

In theory I should be loving October:

The weather isn't too hot, nor is it too cold.

I like the changing Fall foliage.

The non-summer routine has taken hold.

It's a photographer's dream.

It's a great time to ride the bike.

I love taking a trip out to the pumpkin patch.

I like preparing the yard for winter.

Yet over the years, October hasn't been so good for me.  I have 8 years worth of blog postings to prove the point.  What to do?  Well, starting next month I am going to take October back.  Yes, I'm going to "Make October Great Again".  All of my postings in October will be positive reflections on the world in and around me.  It's the perfect time really, especially given the fact that the media will, by the time October actually rolls around, basically just be saying the words "Trump" and "Clinton" over and over and over again anyway, to the point where blood will be flowing from all of our ears.

Oh, and yes, I am stealing a certain political candidate's slogan.  The above graphic is really just a cheesy modification of a bumper sticker you can find HERE.

Making October Great Again...coming to a blog near you.