Five Cool Things About Planning a Wedding (when you are older)

First and Foremost:  It's Our Prerogative 

Ms Rivers and I are paying for this, so we pretty much get to do whatever the heck we want.  For example, the wedding invitations can be somewhat non-traditional.  This idea carries forward into some of the other aspects of it all as well.  Heck, if we wanted a theme wedding where we each dressed up as for favorite characters from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (Don't worry...I'm talking first season, not that dreadful second!)...

...we could actually do it.  Mind you we're not actually going to do this (but if we did, who could we get to come as Twiki?), but it's the concept that's important.

For the record, there is no scenario under which Ms Rivers would ever agree to a themed wedding, least of all one involving Gil Gerard.

A half chocolate, half banana wedding cake.
Yup, try that one on for size.  Oh, no nuts either.  Ever.  And no weird fruit fillings.  Or any fruit fillings.  Wait, is "banana" considered a fruit filling?  Never mind.  But still, no nuts.

You can have the music that you like, no matter how old or lame.
There will be no chicken dance.  Still deciding on "the electric slide", as that's the one dance I can, in fact, do.  We did have to work at finding enough up-temp/dance songs though.  Thank God for K.C. and the Sunshine Band.



It's less about formality and more about fun.
Our idea, from the very start, was that when we got married we were going to have a simple ceremony coupled with a party for family and some friends.  That's it.  No over-thinking.  No schmaltzy stuff that is done "because you do that at a wedding".  No babushkas allowed.  No weird circle dance for you to fight to get to your bride stuff.  If it came to that, then I'd bring a taser. 

No drama.  No egos.  No gifts to return.
We are both blessed many times over in many ways, including the fact that we pretty much have everything we need*.  As a result, we really like the idea of telling our guests that their simple presence is the only gift they need to bring.




(*) Although if someone wants to "give" me a 1968 VW bug, white, with an autostick I'd certainly be open to it.

Wedding Cake Toppers

Getting married (again) entails a certain amount of planning, of which I am very much involved.  I even created a project plan for the event.  Among the times on the plan is this:  Trying to find a suitable wedding cake topper.

The actual wedding cake, by the way, is already ordered (from a fine Scranton baker).  Ms Rivers and I had to find our own wedding cake topper, and it was, shall we say, "interesting".

Now I normally credit the sources for the pictures I use on this blog, but in this instance you can find all of the pictures on eBay; simply search for "Wedding Cake Toppers".

On to the fun.

There are, of course, many classical wedding cake toppers available.  Below is just such an example.  Pretty standard fare if you ask me.

Although the above does beg the question asked by Ms Rivers:  "What if it's not new?"  Good question actually.  I mean, is this the by-product of some broken marriage that someone is now trying to sell off?  Would that create some kind of bad ju-ju/mojo?

This being eBay though, "classical" is a matter of personal taste.   For example, the soon to be "family NRA Membership" couple might be interested in this fine topper.

Now you know things are going to get even weirder from here.  Case in point:

Now maybe this would appeal to the Grateful Dead fans out there, but there would be one cautionary tale along those lines:  According to a book about the group I read last year, the late Jerry Garcia really didn't like all the skeleton stuff associated with the band...it apparently creeped him out.

Well if you're thinking about a death motif for your cake topper, it's not much of a stretch to also consider something a bit on the violent side.  Fortunately, eBay have you covered:

If it weren't for the fact that the bride isn't covered from head to toe, I'd say this would be perfect for maybe a Taliban wedding.

Not to be sexist, but the violence theme works both ways/genders:

It gets worse:

And worser:

eBay has all of those Southern states covered; you know, the one's where the age of consent is, shall we say, "young"?

Then we have some toppers that are just plain odd.  I get it...some are "vintage"...but honestly, some also look as if the bride and the groom both have some kind of rare genetic disorder.

For the record, that's not to be disrespectful of people with rare genetic disorders.

Speaking of odd, in response to the popularity of all things Zombie, we have this:

Hopefully any red meat served at such a reception would be more on the "well done" side.

Then we have the just plain "in bad taste" models:

Seriously, try and explain that one to a 12 year old attending a reception.  Now you could take that same theme and be a bit more subtle:

"Mommy, why is she grabbing his rear-end?".

And lastly, what wedding wouldn't be complete with a bride and groom dinosaur topper?

But heck, at least they are the same species, unlike the following mixed marriage.

For the record we did find one that is tasteful and quite fitting.  And didn't involve groping, weapons, violence, zombies or different species.