10 Questions I'd Like To Ask Paris Hilton

If for no other reason than the fact that I don't find her attractive, therefore I have nothing to gain by sucking up to her...

1. Do you know the difference between a dog and a purse?
2. Do you have any talents other than those I've seen on video (and note that I'm not talking about her "acting" ability)?
3. Which comes in a can, shit or Shinola?
4. Do you find the term "celebutard" to be offensive, realistic or both?
5. Do you know what the word "realistic" means?
   
6. When do your 15 minutes end?
   
7. Do you consider yourself to be a dog-collector with a lot of boyfriends or a boyfriend collector with a lot of dogs?
8. Who is smarter, you, Linsay Lohan or that cat who can flush the toilet?
9. When your parents threatened to sue anyone distributed your porno, did you consider that to be an example of parental love, slick promotion or both?
10. In a more perfect world, exactly how many black people would you like to own?

Her people can get back to my people with answers whenever she has a spare moment or two.