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Saturday, November 13, 2010

8 Lessons

I'm sitting here thinking about some of the lessons I've learned over the past few days, weeks and months.  Granted, "learned" doesn't necessarily mean the same as "applied", but that's one of the lessons I suppose.  I'm also not going to claim that I'm done with some of the tough learning that's going on in my life; hell, the best (or the worst) may yet be to come.

So without further delay, here are the top 8 things I've learned recently.  Some are repetitions to other things I've written, but this is my therapy session anyway (but never the less vicariously enjoy if you are so predisposed to do so).

One:  You Can Only Analyze Certain Things [work in progress]
I'm an analytical kind of guy.  I love to take a problem, dissect it, turn it inside out, think about it constantly and just generally "fix" it.  That's great when the issue at hand actually has a solution.  The Achilles heel for me has been lately that I attempt to apply these analytical skills to things that have more to do with emotions than anything else.  What happens when you do that?  Does the word "torture" ring a bell?  This has been the most difficult lesson for me to learn, and it definitely a work in progress.

Two:  The Truth Hurts...But Not As Much the Alternative [learned]
The longer you hide from reality, the harder it becomes to re-join it.  Lesson definitely, 1000% learned.

Three:  Writing Only Takes You So Far [learned]
I would write pages about how I've been feeling.  Every granular detail.  Now for a 'normal' person that's a good thing.  For me, it went to an extreme.  I would literally feel something and immediately write it down in complete, raw detail.  It was almost as if I was trying to dump feelings onto a page so that I didn't have to feel them any more.  That doesn't work. In fact it became counter productive.  Over the past few days I've probably shredded 30 pages of stuff.  I don't need reminders, as the important stuff remains where it belongs, inside.

Wait, am I violating this lesson already?

Four: Talk About It [work in progress]
I've only recently started to talk about things that have been bothering me for nearly a decade.  How healthy is that?  Seriously, major crap in my life that I've kept bottled up, completely to myself, for years.  I'm wondering why I am alive to even write this.

Five:  "Alone" Is A Relative Term [learned]
You can feel alone in an apartment or in a crowd.  The feeling is pretty much the same. What's important is that you are okay with yourself.

Six:  When The Dam Breaks, There Is A Flood [learned]
I went through years where I purposefully would think through all the things I wanted to change, but like Walter Mitty, my thoughts were synaptic than anything else.  Once I decided to make some changes, it really just sort of poured out.  All that was required was that one little crack.

Seven:  The Timing Is Never Good [learned]
Trying to 'market time' your life is futile.  When you need to make big changes in your life there is never usually a good time.  

Eight:  Your Kids Are Smarter Than You Think [learned]
Mine definitely are, and if you have them, yours are too.

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