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Monday, September 13, 2010

Highlander Grogg

For the record I know nothing about coffee, flavored or otherwise.  Well that's not entirely correct, as I do know one thing about coffee, which is that I absolutely hate the taste of it.  Oh, and yes, I have tried it.  Once. 

Now I'm not some kind of high-brow who looks down on coffee drinkers, as I actually like the smell of coffee.  I also like the smell of roasting peanuts. Roasting peanuts and coffee seem to go through some kind of metamorphosis though between when their molecules hit my nose and when they hit my taste buds, as I simply can't stomach the taste of either.  It's as if there is different machinery working both processes, which isn't entirely correct. You see the  facilities that allow you to smell something are kind of the same as those that allow you to taste something, which is a distressing thought when you consider something like dog poop.

Anyway, I have been looking for Highlander Grogg coffee, as I have a friend who loves the stuff.  In conducting this search I have come to a few conclusions:
  1. You can't buy it in stores, at least not stores in northeastern Pennsylvania (rumor has it though that it can be found in Pittsburgh).
  2. There is one company selling coffee on-line that actually seems to own about 20 different URLs. 
  3. From the descriptions I've read, this stuff is a cross between whiskey and chocolate cake.  Since Scots are not known for their chocolate cake (the culinary arts in Scotland seem more directed towards sheep innards), I'm assuming that the "Highlander" part comes from the whiskey flavor.
  4. Serious coffee drinkers grind their own beans.
  5. You really, really can buy just about anything at
It's kind of amazing that something like coffee, a product that millions of people enjoy every day, is so alien to me.  Then again I was the only kid in my junior high school that wasn't a Kiss fan, so cultural awareness has never been one of my strong points.  At age 46 is this likely to change?  Probably not.  I keep telling myself that being so unaware is okay, but I've also been telling myself that being a heterosexual male ABBA fan is okay too.  Most folks, including my daughters, seem to disagree on that last point. 

Maybe I should start drinking coffee after all.


Anonymous said...

Fortunes Coffee in Pittsburgh Strip district has it. Love it!

Stephen Albert said...

Anonymous...thanks for commenting!

- Steve