Anyway, I'm back.
While gone I saw numerous previews for the new Julia Roberts movie "Eat Pray Love". I'm thinking that about 6 straight guys, in total across the entire universe, will see this flick. As for me, here is a list of the things I'd rather do than go see "Eat Pray Love":
- Have knitting needles perforate both eardrums simultaneously.
- Have my toe nails removed by a drunken Russian doctor without anesthetic.
- Eat sauerkraut.
- Watch the John Travolta movie "Staying Alive" 12 times in a row.
- Be an in-studio guest during the Don Imus show (and watch him actually decay right in front of my very own eyes).
- Attend a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan film festival (wait, that would be about the same as watching "Eat Pray Love").
- Be responsible for emptying the trash...at Courtney Love's house.
- Be Rush Limbaugh's drug mule.
- Be the only white guy in attendance at a Wu Tang Clan reunion concert.
- Go mullet spotting at a local WalMart.
Note that I was going to say "play a game of spot the Spic" with Lou Barletta, but I didn't want to offend anyone of Hispanic heritage out there. Ops, too late.