Not Cease from Exploration

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Still Skipping the Light Fandango

It's strange really: I've actually had so much in my head lately that I've not been able to write about it, if that makes any sense whatsoever. In fact, my last post wasn't really a current posting at all in that I had actually written it (in longhand) while in Hartford during the week.

Anyway, I'm sitting here now, my typical Saturday all screwed up, waiting for a seemingly nasty thunderstorm to start. Well maybe start, as these things do have a habit of petering out before they get here. That's one of the good things about living where I do: the weather is more moderate that you think, and certainly more moderate than in other parts of Pennsylvania. If it does start to rain and it looks bad, I may need to bail on this.

So what's with all the crap running through my head?

Well for starters, some of this comes from the simple routine change that for me has a habit of frying a small number of neurons. That's not a good thing. It's too easy for me to fall into patterns, some of which are not all that healthy. The past week has been a test case in routine change, what with being away most of the week and then my normal weekend routine being altered somewhat.

Another part of the equation comes from the fact that we did a lot of "personality typing" kind of work during the week. My department does that kind of stuff for our business (i.e., using tools like Myers-Briggs to help teams function better), and often-times we use ourselves as lab-rats for new tools. One of those tools I described yesterday, namely FIRO-B. Now that really has dug deep into my skull for some reason. I think it really, really showed just how extremely introverted and affection-less I can be. I'm still not sure what to do with that one. Classically speaking, we are taught that "you are who you are, and every (personality) type has a role to play in a business/personal environment", but yet there are definitely traits that are considered better than others in the real world of existence. Since being a professional hermit is probably not in the offing, I need to deal with this stuff.

Another part of the equation comes from the dynamic of my larger family, where there are some individuals who I am close to with some pretty serious mental and physical health issues. The independent streak in me wants to believe that this sort of thing shouldn't have an impact on me. As the Paul Simon song goes:

"I am a rock, I am an island"

...but that's not reality. None of are are islands onto ourselves, and life, being the complex thing that it is, would never allow that to happen. The simple fact is this: when it come dealing with these kinds of issues, concept is far easier to grasp than reality. What to do? I really don't know.

Okay, that's enough mental rumination for now. Time to move on to bigger and better things, like, well, I don't really know.

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