Not Cease from Exploration

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Monday-esque Tuesday


I'm not sure if I actually like having an extra day off. Maybe that's part of this compulsive drive in me that resists any and every derivation from the "norm" of my daily routine. I know, I know, humans are almost genetically wired to routines - it's what we do. The routine - any routine - gives us some sense of comfort, knowing that we can more or less predict, within fairly broad parameters, what will be happening next.

Anyway, yesterday was one of those non-routine days, leaving today to be a "Monday-esque" Tuesday. I'll try and comfort myself with the knowledge that I'm already one day ahead towards the weekend, but then again the weekends don't always provide all that much comfort in the grand scheme of things. In fact, there is a certain amount of self-imposed stress associated with the weekends for me, a gnawing pain related to not doing all the things I probably should be doing (and doing less of others, which these days mainly consists of eating). Is it any wonder I wouldn't wish the inside of my head on anyone else? Maybe I do need to take up meditation.

Back to yesterday.

What was my day like?

I woke up at about 6:30am

I washed dishes and did some other things inside the house, and then I bought and then read the paper.

I did all the yard work (cut the grass, weed-whacked, cleaned up using the blower)

I went and visited my mother in the hospital (she is in rehab due to very bad arthritis)

I went back home in order to take Rebecca to work

I went by myself to see "Terminator: Salvation" at Cinemark; pretty decent movie...as long as you don't mind virtually nothing in the character development department BUT you are really into killer-cyborgs

I picked Rebecca up from work

I switched briefcases (I have two that I use...and sometimes I just like to switch them for no particular reason)

I loafed around the rest of the evening, watching TV, etc.


Not exactly the stuff of a highly productive individual, and no wonder I'm still a manager at work (someone who was Director-material probably would have logged in and checked email during the evening).

What didn't I do that needed to do? Get my bike up from the basement, clean it off, lubricate the chain and other parts and get it ready for riding. I've had that on my list for quite a while now, and it's still sitting in the basement. Why? I don't know.

Why? I don't know. That pretty much sums it up. Well I suppose I could take some time and try and "know". Part of that has to do with my personality. I'm an exceptionally introverted person, so being at work and having to be "on" for 8+ hours takes a toll on me, mentally and emotionally. That leaves me with not a lot in the energy department once I get home. That leads, in part, to the not having the desire to do much in the evening. Pretty lame excuse, I know, but it's the best one I can think of at the moment.

Well it's off to my Monday-esque Tuesday. Time to be "on". Funny, as I write about this, I think of a Hamster on a wheel in its cage, running around and around, but yet going nowhere. When I was a kid I would laugh at how hard the Hamster would run on the wheel, going nowhere; now I'm an adult and I run pretty damn hard myself, but yet where am I going? Perhaps I was a bit too hard on the Hamster.

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