Search This Blog

Monday, August 6, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 11 - Tallinn, Estonia

On the Baltic Sea

If I were to poll 1,000 different Americans and asked them to find Tallin on a map, I think that about 986 would answer something along the lines of "I have no idea" or maybe "yeah, isn't that somewhere in New Jersey?".  Granted that Americans are (in)famously challenged when it comes to geography in general; add in little-known lands and, well, the odds just don't look good.  By way of full disclosure, I was nearly a geography major in college so I can say that, even as a younger man, I knew of Tallinn (and Estonia, as well as the rest of the Baltic states).  I'll confess though that this knowledge hasn't really benefited me all that much, well until now.

Anyway, Tallinn, Estonia, is best described in comparison to Gdansk, Poland.  Both:
  • Were under the thumb of the former Soviet Union
  • Are port cities on the Baltic Sea
  • Have languages that sound more like slurred Klingon than English
The above is pretty much where the similarities end.  Where the port of Gdansk is overgrown and industrial looking, Tallinn has a modern port that invites tourists and also has actual security(*).  Another key difference between the two cities is in the area of basic cleanliness:  Tallinn was one of the cleanest cities I've ever seen, anywhere.  Granted that Gdansk was in the throws of a festival when we visited, but outside of the St. Dominic's Fair crowds, the outskirts of the city were simply run-down looking; not so with Tallinn, where everything seemed to well cared-for and in its place.

Tallinn is, simply put, a beautiful place.  Here's some proof.

(Cathedral of St. Alexander Nevsky)

(The spire of the Tallinn Town Hall)

(The Estonian Parlament Building)

(The clock on the side of The Holy Spirit Church, one of the oldest functioning clocks in Europe)

(Spire of the Domed Cathedral)

(On Tallinn Town Square:  The Garlic Restaurant & one of the oldest pharmacies in Europe)

(An alleyway in Tallinn)

(From the ship with the zoom lens:  The Cathedral of St. Alexander Nevsky)

Lastly, while crime isn't much of an issue in the city, the authorities in Tallinn would like to remind you to beware of pick-pockets.


Observations:
  • Tech Center.  Estonia views itself as being something a technology center, and the fact that Skype was created here is a source of enormous national pride.  
  • Red Scare.  There's clearly a lot of apprehension about Russia in Estonia.  If history (including the recent variety, i.e. Ukraine) is something of a guide, well, the fears may not be unfounded.  For the record, Estonia is a member of NATO, which, given some of the current (American) President's comments, may not be all that comforting.
  • Scandinavian Intent.  My impression coming to Estonia was that it is a Slavic country, but the residents clearly like to view themselves as being more Scandinavian than anything else, with a special affinity for the Finnish.
  • Tourism.  Tourism is big business in Tallinn.  Our guide said that they can sometimes have up to five cruise ship in port at any given time.  Do the words "tourism" and "Estonia" seem to go together to you?  I didn't think so.

Tomorrow we said into St. Petersburg, Russia.  That brings me to the story of 3,000 rubles.

Coming back to the port of Tallinn in the early afternoon, we stopped by a few shops located in the area of our ship.  I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I did see a currency exchange service.  Knowing that we are next headed to Russia, I thought it might be a good idea to get some of the local currency in advance, as I'm a little wary of money dealings in a country not necessarily known for strong financial controls.  Anyway, since I hadn't checked the exchange rate, I just picked a number...$60...as what I would produce for the transaction.  Now I know how exchange rates work (and even concepts such as arbitrage), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but sure enough that worked out to about 3,000 rubles.  Fortunately, I ended up getting a 1,000 and a few 500 ruble notes, so as to not over-stuff my wallet.  I'll try not to spend it all in one place.


* * * * * *

(*) In Tallinn, there was the usual cruise ship security plus a checkpoint with a guard that made sure that only authorized vehicles got close to the actual port.  In Gdansk, well, pretty much anyone could drive right up to the ship.

Filling the Bucket, Day 10 - Viking Star Sea Day

On the Baltic Sea

Today is a day at sea, as we travel from Poland to Estonia.  This may seem boring to some, but not to me when I think back to my childhood in the Midtown Apartments, as this is truly a world apart.  Make that an incredible world apart, as in I never dreamed as a kid that I would be making this kind of journey.  There are a few lessons in that thought, none the least of which is a hearty reminder that where we are is never the same as where we will one day be.  By the way, for the benefit of the curious, here is that last phrase ("where we are...") in Polish:

"...gdzie jesteśmy nigdy nie jest taki sam, jak kiedyś będziemy..."

Try saying that fast three times.

On second thought, try saying that at all.

Speaking Poland, as we were entering the harbor at Gdansk, one of our ship's identical sisters was leaving port.  Here she is, the Viking Sun:


Also, as I reflect back on Poland, it's somewhat disappointing that we didn't get to experience more of the city's recent history (i.e. the Solidarity movement).  Apparently, there is a museum dedicated to Solidarity, but it was not on our itinerary.  What's more, we actually drove by the shipyards where the famous strike(s) took place and, well, they basically just look like a run-down industrial complex (as opposed to a place where Communism was punched in the gut by a bunch of brave shipbuilders).

(Where Lech Walesa worked; with apologies for the "bus shot")

Getting back to today, well, it was nice to have something of a break.  I actually took about a 30-minute nap (something of a rarity for me) and we spent some time at the pool.  Dinner was at the fancy Italian restaurant onboard, which I have to admit was pretty nice.

(Fancy dinner; I started eating mine before realizing that I should take a picture)

In terms of actual photos to share, well, the offerings are somewhat limited to clouds and then more clouds.

(View 1:  Port)

(View 2:  Starboard)

Views 1 & 2 were taken at the same time.  That's one of the wonderful things about being a sea:  You have this wide expanse to view, and each direction could hold something completely different.  

(View 3:  Sunset, Starboard)

The first two views were taken with my cell phone (a Samsung Galaxy Note 8), and the third with my Sony Alpha A58.

I had to Google the whole port vs. starboard thing.  Normally I am pretty good at knowing my surroundings and just generally finding things.  You might think that's a good thing, and perhaps it is in some respects, but it's roots are far less kind:  I've always had an intense need to be in control, mostly born out of an upbringing where that's how I was able to cope with reality (unpredictable parenting created a need/monster for predictability in other areas of life).  Anyway, being on a ship has been somewhat disorienting from a directional perspective.  Fortunately for me, Ms. Rivers seems to not suffer from this kind of impairment.

Tomorrow, as noted above, we are back in a port, this time Tallinn, Estonia.  It looks like a beautiful place.  

As far deep thoughts, snarky comments or insightful ponderings go, I don't really have all that much to offer.  The trip now seems as much to be as much a marathon as it is a bucket-list fulfilled.  I know this ends next Saturday but until then I'm going to continue to thoroughly enjoy the run.

On a final note, we head to Stockholm by the end of the week, where we will visit the ABBA museum.  Couple that with the Napoleon documentary we are watching before bed and you get the perfect segue:

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 9 - Gdansk, Poland

On the Vistula River, Gdansk, Poland

Not everything is, or in fact even should be, glamorous. 

Which brings me to Gdansk, Poland.

This is not an attractive city.  I'm not writing that in a mean-spirited way, but it is something of an honest observation.  The docking area for Gdansk is basically more industrial than anything else.  Gdansk does hold a special place in recent history as being basically the first blowtorch to the former Iron Curtain of Eastern Europe.  Whatever snarkiness is found in this posting is all in good fun; how Gdansk and its residents contributed to the cause of freedom in Europe was a very serious business, and the western world owes a debt of gratitude to the city.

Side note:  As I begin to type this, a small boat, filled with what I assume to be drunken Gdansk residents, is moving past our ship.  Fortunately, as I don't speak Polish, I can't understand what they are yelling. Somehow I don't think it translates to "Hello cruise ship peoples.  We hope you enjoyed short stay in city Gdansk.  Please do come back much again times!".

Anyway, while Rostock was also a former Eastern Bloc city, it's clear that the German government has had the resources to invest heavily in redevelopment over the past few decades.  Gdansk?  Not so much.

(The view from our cabin upon arrival; "We have many lumbers for exports!")

Now in all fairness, the old city area of Gdansk definitely has that older European charm.





Today was St. Dominic's Fair in Gdansk, which meant significantly more people and congestion in the city.  It also made your's truly pretty uncomfortable when I was squeezed under an archway with about 100 others while a thunderstorm blew through the city.  I'm not wild about being touched; well I am if I know you well, otherwise, it rather creeps me out.  As shown above, part of the events associated with St. Dominic's Fair was some kind of race.

Another feature of Gdansk is amber, as in the petrified tree sap stuff that traps bugs and created Jurassic Park.  Amber is a big commodity for sale in Gdansk, and we found many shops selling it during our brief time in the city.  Some of the amber jewelry was very attractive.

Another side note:  As I am typing this, a police boat appeared alongside our ship.  Apparently, the first boat wasn't the only one riding the Vistula River while enjoying adult beverages.


Like many other continental European cities, Gdansk suffered quite a bit during World War II, although it does seem as if there still some areas that are just now being rebuilt, all these years later.



Observations:
  • Smoking.  Common to Poland and some of the other cities we've visited is the fact that smoking seems to be still fairly wide-spread, especially among younger people.  It's odd to think of the United States as being progressive in any way, especially these days, but I think we're ahead of the curve in this one particular area, which is a good thing.  I personally wish that smoking just stopped, as dying of lung cancer is a horrible fate deserved by nobody.
  • Currency.  The national currency in Poland is the Zloty.  Given the fact that I am horrible with foreign languages, and after trying three times to pronounce "Zloty", I instead deemed the name to actually be the "Zlotnick", which I think sounds better anyway.  I actually did get some Zlotnicks from an ATM by the way, which came in handy as we did some shopping before heading back to the port/lumberyard.  I even managed to save a 10 Zlotnick note as something of a keepsake.
  • Food.  Pickles on bread is a thing to eat in Gdansk.  For the record, I didn't.
  • Language.  Much like Germany, English wasn't widely spoken in public, at least not as far as I could hear.  We did deal with some amber salespeople who had a good command of the language though, so much so that they could pass for English teachers in Nanticoke, Plymouth or Shamokin (sorry for that inside Pennsylvania joke, but I just couldn't help myself).
Tomorrow is actually a day at sea.  I'm not actually sure that will generate enough interesting stuff to warrant a posting.  Oh, who am I kidding...


Saturday, August 4, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 8 - Rostock/Warnemunde, Germany

On the Baltic Sea, Heading to Poland

"You need to bring your passport with you" was the instruction today as we headed out to Rostock, Germany.  After having visited two other countries without needing to bring a passport my mind got to work.  Now given the fact that I am both a student of history and known to be somewhat snarky, I almost immediately went to something along the lines of...

What you don't want to happen in Germany: Have someone come up to you & say "Papers...can I see your papers?"
(Said with a thick German accent)

...if you don't get that last point, well, don't worry about it.  Attribute this to the fact that I have a vivid imagination and I've simply seen too many World War II (WW2) movies in my lifetime.

In any event, today was a great day.  The morning was spent on a guided tour of Rostock, a former East German city, and a major port.  We had a terrific tour guide, a native of Rostock, who was old enough to remember life before the fall of the Berlin Wall.  Learning about the city, especially during World War II and afterward, was fascinating.  Rostock was heavily bombed by the Royal Air Force (RAF) during the war, mostly because of the Heinkel and Arado aircraft factories found in the vicinity.

(Center City, Rostock; all of this was basically destroyed during WW2)

(The fountain; see directly below)

The fountain shown above was constructed by the East German government, and officially named the "Fountain of Joy".  According to our tour guide, that's not what it's called by locals.  Because of the several naked bodies, it's unofficially called the "Porn Fountain" (as in "Meet me by the Porn Fountain at 4pm Klaus!").  And who said that German's don't have a sense of humor?

(Saint Mary's Church, one of the few buildings not destroyed during WW2)

We spent the afternoon in the resort town on Warnemunde, which kind of reminds you of a classy version of a higher-end Maryland beach community.  Except of course for all the Germans.  The architecture is very similar to that of Rostock.

(A row of shops in Warnemunde)

Still no pickup trucks, by the way.  What I have noticed is that some passenger cars have this weird (by U.S. standards) rear hitch that seems to be something of a Northern European standard.

(No comment)

While I can normally only get about six photos in an average posting, I'm going to see if the Blogger gods will smile upon me and allow one more.

(One of two harbor lighthouses; its companion was red)

A few observations:
  • Language.  Warnemunde was the first town we've been to where we countered a significant number of people that did not speak English.  In fact, Ms. Rivers bought a gift at a shop where the owner didn't speak a word of it; fortunately, Visa seems to do a lot of talking on its own, in both German and English.
  • Euro.  Just for the heck of it, I got twenty Euros out of a local ATM.  That probably cost me a small fortune, but it was worth it when we needed local currency to buy a few snacks and pay to use a public toilet in Warnemunde.  As an American, it feels odd having larger denomination coins.  
  • Post Wall Architecture.  Our guide mentioned that something like 95% of the area had been rebuilt/modernized since the unification of Germany.  It was neat though seeing the rows on squared off apartment buildings and nearly identical cottage houses constructed during the days of communism.  To the latter, our guide mentioned that there were something like three officially sanctioned cottage designs in East Germany.
  • Time.  I'm a pretty time conscious guy.  That happens, by the way, when you are raised in something like a junior version of the Marine Corps.  Anyway, I've genuinely lost track of time and dates while I'm here.  That probably speaks more to the power that routine has in our brains than anything else, and this trip has definitely been a different kind of experience.
On a final note, I try not to take too many photos with my cell phone, mostly because I have a lot of money tied up in expensive photography stuff.  What's the sense in having an expensive camera if you don't use it?  Anyway, after dinner, Ms. Rivers and I were strolling on the second-floor deck of the ship and we spied a wonderful sunset, which I just had to capture.  The sun is actually setting over Germany and/or Denmark.  


The next port of call is in Poland.

Friday, August 3, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 7 - Copenhagen

Port of Copenhagen, Denmark

This is a busy place.  With more bikes than people, transport in Copenhagen takes on a serious tone as you're driving down the street, a game of Frogger on a grander scale.  This is also actually far bigger place than a one day stop can give it justice, and if I ever come back to Europe, this would definitely be worth visiting again.  

While it's easy to appreciate the beauty of an old city (more on that in a moment), it's also worth remembering that this is still a western city, which means Circle K gas stations, more McDonald's that are probably necessary and, as we saw in Norway, 7-11 quickie-marts.  Then there is the basically ugly, more modern architecture...


(Apartments or military barracks?  You decide...)

...that we all know fills a need and is practical, but yet seems out of character in a beautiful city like Copenhagen. 

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, we did see some truly beautiful stuff today, most especially the Roskilde Cathedral of the Danish national church.  This building dates back to the 1100's; more information on it can be found HERE.







We also spent time at (another) Viking museum, this one also in Roskilde.  The chief attraction of this particular museum was the remnants of 5 Viking ships that were recovered and restored (well, what was left of them) from the inlets near Copenhagen.  





Of the five ships recovered, one was constructed in Norway, and another was constructed in Ireland.  The curators determined this based on the wood used for the ships.  Score two for science!

Finally, in service of the fact that it's just a cool picture, I caught a seaplane landing this morning not far from the ship.



A few observations:
  • Weather.  It's apparently been insanely hot and very dry in Denmark, far more so than usual.  What once was grass is now a tan carpet.  Like Norway, air conditioning in buildings isn't a thing here, so it was pretty easy to break a sweat this morning at 10am while I was looking for a "so I don't look like a slob on a ship full of well dressed older people" shirt.
  • Cars.  My brother Rich, who is interested in European cars, would love this place.  Between the Ford Ka and various other models, Denmark is full of vehicles which likely could fit in the bed of my Silverado.  For the record, I didn't see any pick-up trucks in Copenhagen.
  • Gas Prices.  Speaking of cars and the lack of pick-up trucks, for the benefit of the curious, gas costs about 16 Danish Krone per liter, or about $2.67.  Converting that to how we measure liquids in the United States, it works out to about $6.46/gallon.  That may seem like a lot, but when you're driving a car that's getting 35+ mpg in combined city/highway driving, it's on par overall than what it costs to run the above referenced Silverado (which I average about 17 mpg and which would be also horrible at dodging bicycles).  Diesel is actually cheaper here per liter, likely because of it's greater use as a passenger vehicle fuel.
  • Internet.  Ship-board internet service can best be described as being somewhere between "horrible" and "non-existent".  That's not such a bad thing by the way.  Having less connectivity sometimes is good for the soul.  Besides, all I need is enough bandwidth to post this stuff and a few pictures to the Facebooks.
Tomorrow we arrive in Germany for the day.  I'll try and remember a few words from Jr. High German class.

* * * * * *

A word about pictures:  I'm posting additional pictures on Facebook, for non-public view.  Let's connect if I know you in real life and you'd like to see these photos.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 6 - Denmark

Off the coast of Denmark

Today's stop was Aalborg (also spelled with a single 'A', if there is a halo over it), but that doesn't really tell you all that much.  In reality, today was basically "All things Viking" day, as the day was spent, well, learning about the Vikings.  Right off the bat, I'll confess to having no special love for, or particular interest in Vikings, be they from Scandinavia or Minnesota.  I just don't think about them all that much.  This noted it was interesting to visit a Viking village, a Viking fortress and a Viking graveyard.  I even got to sample Mead, which basically tastes just like honey-flavored cough syrup.  Given the fact that, back in times past, streams were also used as sewers, drinking Mead was probably far safer than actually the water.

So in keeping with "All things Viking" day, here are a few photographs.

(A Viking graveyard)

(An actual Viking helmet; in reality, they didn't have horns)

(An actual Viking grave)

(The remains of a Viking fortress)

The pictures don't do what I saw justice, and there is something on the wonderful side about having a graveyard basically intact from around 900 A.D. 

On an unrelated note, one fun (well at least for me) thing I've been doing is taking photographs of interesting ships and then researching them online.  The size and variety of ships is actually kind of astounding, and I think about how cool it could have been to perhaps work on a ship.  I know just how pitiful that sounds.  Anyway, what wasn't pitiful were some of the views from our ship.

(View from the stern, heading to Denmark)

(Sunset over Denmark)

Tomorrow we are in Copenhagen, which I'm really interested in seeing, if only for the architecture.  A splendid time is guaranteed for all.

As what seems to be a custom, I'll end this posting with a few observations:
  • People.  People are just people.  Outside of the different language, a bunch of folks walking in center city Bergen, Norway or Aalborg, Denmark pretty much look the same as they would in any town in the United States.  That may fall under the category of "Not exactly insightful", at least on the surface, but there's more to it; we're all too often made to feel as if "they" are different.  Well, for the most part, "they" aren't, which is an important point to make these days, especially when we have people in high public office that feed off of xenophobia like seagulls feed off of discarded french fries.
  • Pickup Trucks.  Want to know what actually is different?  I haven't seen a pickup truck since I checked the air pressure in my Silverado before leaving on this journey.  Well, to be fair, I did see an old rusted VW Rabbit pickup sitting on the side of a barn in Eidfjord, but in my mind, that shouldn't count anyway.
  • Profile.  Profile of the average person on this cruise?  Mid to late 60's, white, seemingly well off, definitely well dressed.  Mostly from the United States, but some from the U.K. as well.  I don't exactly fit in, but that's okay; maybe I will one day (well at least the older part).
  • Aalborg.  As a city, it was rather non-descript.   During our tour, my mother-in-law asked our guide if the name "Aalborg" had any special meaning.  The correct answer was something along the lines of "town at many streams".  In my mind, the answer should have been "Danish version of Reading, Pennsylvania".
  • Diesel.  Between the diesel engines of the Viking Star to the diesel engines powering many of the passenger vehicles in the towns we've visited, I think I'm growing fond of the smell of diesel exhaust.  Or at least getting used to it.
To that last point, here's your long-distance dedication.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 5 - Headed to Denmark

On the North Sea

The mechanics of writing this stuff is interesting, well at least to me it's interesting.  I'm actually 6 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time as I write this; my pattern has been to, after dinner and other evening activities, look at photographs and write the basic posting.  I then actually finish things up and publish the following morning, usually before breakfast (I'm a chronically early riser).  Someone might think that's an awful lot of work, especially on a vacation, but it really isn't for me.  If anything, I enjoy this process, as it gives me a chance to reflect on the day how incredibly lucky I am to be even taking this journey in the first place.

Speaking of that last point, when I was a kid, one time a more well-off family brought in their home movies from Disneyland (or whatever it is in Florida) for the class to watch.  Knowing then that I had no shot at such a vacation, I hated the experience.  Envy?  Sure.  I think about that experience as I write this, but I also realize that, unlike grade school, I'm not dealing with a captive audience. Or so that's how I rationalize things.

Stavanger, Norway
Today's port-o-call was Stavanger, Norway.  The town's claim to fame is the fact that it's something of the headquarters of Norway's oil & gas industry.  We got into Stavanger early around 7am and had to leave by about 1:30pm, so there wasn't much time to explore.  Ms. Rivers and I did take the provided tour, but I found it somewhat boring.  For the record though, I'd rather be somewhat bored in Norway than be at home.

The major portion of the tour as a visit to the Norwegian Oil & Gas Museum.  I didn't actually take any pictures.  There were some interesting ships docked near us, which did warrant some photographs.



The above ship is actually somewhat famous:  It was featured in the movie Dunkirk.  More information about this ship can be found HERE.

Since leaving at about 1:30pm, we've been in route to Alborg, Denmark.  Arrival is set for about Noon tomorrow.  The afternoon was spent mostly reading, although Ms. Rivers and I did partake in an official tea-time at 4pm with her parents.  While I've been drinking tea all of my life, I've never done an official tea-time.  To quote John Mellencamp, "Another boring romantic, that's me".

Given that I don't have any spectacular photographs to show or insights to offer, it feels as if this posting is, well, a bit short.  The best I can do is offer the following grainy photograph of a Norwegian harbor lighthouse, shot with a large zoom lens, with a ton of glare.



The day actually ended with about two and a half hour dinner that included my wife's family.  It was a busy place, and there are only so many Ukranian/Russian waiters to go around.  Dinner itself was nice and the company was good, so what's not to like?

I'll end this with a few observations:

  • Oil & Gas.  In Norway, the nation's share of profits from the oil and gas industry has been used to build roads, bore tunnels for highways, construct bridges linking remote coastal towns and other such things.  Seems like a good idea.
  • Happy.  The folks we've encountered in towns so far...as in the locals...have seemed pretty happy.  That fits in with the data I've seen that shows the Nordic countries as being among the happiest places on Earth.  I'd provide a link to support that assertion, but I don't feel like waiting the extra 5 minutes for the Google search results to come up (and then for me to switch the language from Norwegian to English).
  • Passengers.  Ms. Rivers and I are on the younger side compared to most passengers on this cruise.  I'm good with that, for the record.  Most of the passengers we've spoken to have been extremely friendly.  About the only negative I can cite is an older (not shocking) gentlemen who I spoke to at lunch who went on about how forced busing ruined schools in Kansas City, Mo.  I'm okay with that statement provided that you can come with an alternative solution to the whole "separate and unequal" educational thing that existed prior to forced busing.
On that note...


Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Filling the Bucket, Day 4 - On-Board the Viking Star

On the Norwegian fjords

Beautiful.  In a single word, beautiful.

The above describes the time in Eidfjord, Norway.  This is simply the most beautiful place I have ever been to in all of my life.  Rather than try to describe what I saw, I'm just going to share some pictures.






I probably took 71 pictures today, which for me is a lot.  Unfortunately, there is a limit to what I can put in a single posting.  None of them can adequately describe this place though so the above will have to do for now.

* * * * * *
A few other observations from the past few days:

  • Hamburgers.  Putting kernels of corn on your hamburger is a thing in Norway.  I kid you not.  I ordered a cheeseburger, sans the cheese (which I always do, as I've learned I can't say "please give me a hamburger" because cheese is practically assumed), but I forgot to tell them to also take off the corn kernels.  We're talking straight from the Green Giant corn kernels.
  • Roof Maintenance.  Something else that's a thing in Norway?  Goats of your roof.  Why goats?  Well, apparently using a lawnmower on your grass-seeded roof is a bad idea.
  • Norwegian vs. Swedish.  I asked a tour guide how the Norwegian and Swedish languages differ.  She said they were very similar, akin to the differences between English as spoken in the United States vs. the U.K.  She did say though that, according to most Norwegians, Swedes speak as if they have a hot potato in their mouths.  Not sure if that's a compliment or insult.  
  • Norwegian Rednecks.  There is an actual show called Norwegian Rednecks.  I kid you not.  Sadly, I don't think I'll be able to visit a Norwegian Walmart to meet some of these folks in person.