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Friday, July 3, 2009

Road Apples, #34

In the Stupidest Movie Department we have the latest installment of "Transformers". This is, quite possibly, the worst movie ever made. I want to sue Paramount for the price of my ticket. Now why was it so bad? Here are just a few reasons:
  • Dialogue, Part 1 - Half the time I couldn't hear the dialogue, as it was either muffled or drown out by giant battling Transformers.
  • Dialogue, Part 2 - When I could hear the dialogue it was mostly stupid.
  • Fights, Part 1 - It was virtually impossible to tell the "good" Transformers from the bad ones.
  • Fights, Part 2 - When the Transformers were fighting the action was so fast that you really couldn't tell what was happening.
  • Scale - Sometimes "Optimus Prime" seemed to be about 20 feet tall, sometimes he seemed to be about 60 feet tall.
  • Acting - The best actors were the new, smaller Transformers.

This was seriously horrible. Why did I ever go? Well that was mainly because the first movie was fairly tolerable.

I Get A Shiver In My Bones Thinking About The Weather - The weather of late has been horrible. Think on and off showers all week. It's damn-near depressing.

In The "Just Doesn't Apply To Airplanes" Department - I've come to the absolutely conclusion that I get much better gas mileage while driving West to East than I do East to West. Got to love that head-wind.

In The News - While I would never wish for a major catastrophe to happen in the world, it would be nice for something to take the "Michael Jackson is dead" stuff out of the headlines. Seriously, we get it now: he was weird. Can we now move on?

I Have A Ton Of Work To Do and probably not enough time to get it all completed. Life can be wonderful like that sometimes.

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