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Friday, January 25, 2013

Welcome (to the Jungle) Liz

Dr. Elizabeth Randol has announced today that she is running for Mayor of Scranton.  You can read all about it HERE.

This raises a few questions for the voters of Scranton:
Is Scranton ready for a woman to be Mayor?
Scranton has a long history misogyny in political and social circles.

Is Scranton ready for someone who is not a devoted Roman Catholic to be Mayor?
Many Scrantonians have never even met a Protestant...let alone...

Is Scranton ready for someone who does not have a politically connected last name ("Janet COYNE Evans" anyone?) to be Mayor?
What the heck kind of name is "Randol" anyway?  It doesn't sound Irish, Italian or Polish.  Maybe it's Lebanese.

Is Scranton ready for someone who was not born and raised in the city to be Mayor?
Never discount the number of city residents who consider Wilkes-Barre to be "far away".  Cleveland, Ohio?  That might as well be Neptune your average over age 60 city resident.

Is Scranton ready for someone with advanced college degrees to be Mayor?
Many old-school city residents don't trust intellectuals...you know, those folks who insist on pronouncing the "t" in the city's name.


To be fair, I have a few questions for Dr Randol as well:
Are you ready to be mocked for your work experience?
Remember, in Scranton the good jobs are considered to be at "Da Depo" and the Post Office.

Are you ready to be called a "baby-killer"?
In Scranton your stand on abortion means more to some than your stand on property tax reassessment.

Are you ready for insane, inaccurate and mostly insulting rumors to be spread about you and your family from various dirty corners of the Internet?
Chris Doherty...like his governance or hate it...was subject to all manner vicious and cowardly rumors.  Be ready for them, because they already have started.  You should probably buy the URL "RandolDeceit", if you already haven't done so.

Are you ready to defend (your lack of) religious beliefs?
This will be an issue.  Remember, the Church holds a lot of informal authority in Scranton...about as much, I suspect, as the LDS leaders do in Salt Lake City.  This might as well be a Theocracy. 

Does Halupki give you indigestion?
If it does then hope for a win in the primary and no opponent in the general, otherwise you're in for trouble once "Pitnik" season rolls around this summer.

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