Not Cease from Exploration

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Thinking

My Myers Briggs Type Indicator is 'ISTJ', which stands for 'Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging'.  This isn't all that uncommon a personality type, but I tend to make it uncommon with how I score, namely that I am extremely introverted, extremely thinking, and extremely judging.  By "extremely" I mean that I get the highest possible scores in these particular indicators.  Of late the one that is giving me the most grief if "Thinking".

Thinking is good, when there is a problem to be solved.  Thinking becomes toxic for me though when I don't have a problem that actually can be solved, or even a problem at all.  Yes, dogged mental determination comes in handy at the office or when I've had the personal crisis in my life to handle that require logical decisions, but what happens when the thing you are constantly thinking about is more of an emotion or series of emotions?

Here's the answer to the above question:  You get the perfect storm of personal dysfunction.  For me it becomes this almost endless feedback loop where my mind is constantly thinking about, thinking around, thinking through feelings and thoughts that don't have solutions.  It's a computer trying to compute the value of pi, pulling more and more CPU time into something that doesn't have an answer.

The trick for me...make that the "opportunity for personal growth"...is going to be one where I try and suspend my constant over-thinking when I know that the situation isn't one where there is a "thought" solution.  Maybe this is as simple as "Acceptance", maybe it is as complex as "Faith".

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