2011 Resolutions (well at least some of them)

I actually like the whole New Year's Resolutions thing.  It fits neatly into this view of the universe that I have, one where you constantly learn, constantly strive, constantly try.  That noted, I usually set these things and then never actually achieve most of them. Maybe that should be one of my resolutions:  achieve more of my resolutions.


Anyway, I'm thinking that there are a few basic things I'd like to accomplish (or at least strive to accomplish) in 2011.

Being a Better Dad

I resolve to be a better father by listening & being more open with my own feelings.  My children are fast becoming (and have become) adults, so I have a responsibility to exemplify the best of adult behavior.  That doesn't mean saying "yes" all the time; it means saying "yes" and sometimes "no" at the right times.  It's not about being what my children want at any given time...it's about being what they need most of the time.

Virtual vs. Actual World
I resolve to spend LESS time in the virtual world.  This means less time on Facebook, less of just leaving the Internet on as some kind of bizarre form of visual muzak.  Conversely, I resolve to spend more time in the real world.  It's time to come out of the shell a bit more.


Working on Me
I resolve to continue the process of taking an honest look at myself and striving to grow in those areas where I can genuinely be a better person.  This includes:

• Being less self-critical.  I need to stop being my own worst critic. I've learned the hard way this year that sometimes that kind of behavior opens the door to some pretty bad situations.  When you don't perceive yourself as having value, is it all that shocking that other may treat you like you don't have much value?  
• Being more assertive in my personal life.  For years I have this asinine behavior whereby I would get angry but then feel guilty for getting angry. That's over.  If I feel manipulated or mistreated I'll say that right up front.  As my Therapist says, "Time to put on the big-boy pants".
• Finding happiness in what I do.  In the last 20-some years of my life, I never really spent all that much time trying to be happy.  Adults deserve to have some fun too.  I should be doing more things that I enjoy.
• Being more social.  I will never be an extrovert, but that doesn't mean that I can't try to make more friends and at least try to enjoy social activities and situations.  I don't have to love this sort of thing, but to be a more complete person I have to try harder at it.
• Engage in healthy relationships.  It's time to engage in relationships that are mentally and emotionally healthy for me.  This means stability, caring and most important of all, honesty.     

Learn
I resolve to learn about those things that I am interested in where I know the least.  I want to listen to more classical music.  Maybe finally learn how to play the guitar.  Finally read Moby Dick cover to cover.




Health
I resolve to take better physical care of myself.  This includes:

• Blood Pressure...I am going to, once and for all, make some decisions about how to handle my border-line high blood pressure.  That decision starts being made on January 4th.
• Weight...I am going to keep my weight at a reasonable level.
• Exercise...I am going to exercise more frequently and more consistently.

Road Apples, #86

Pet Travel Peeve...I love the whole pay at the pump thing when getting gas.  Why?  Normally when I am traveling, especially when traveling home from a business trip, I usually don't feel doing much in the "interacting with other humans" department.  All the more reason why just pulling up, swiping my card, getting my gas and then pulling our a receipt is exceptionally convenient for me.  Of course the fly in the ointment happens when I see the whole "see clerk for receipt" message on the pump display.  Newsflash:  I don't want to see the clerk.  I don't want to see anyone.  I just what to get home from a ghastly long day.  Having to wait in line to get something that, had the system been working properly, I should have gotten already simply pisses me off.  Damn, I am such an American.


Scranton School Director...There was an article in yesterday's Scranton Times about a sitting Scranton School Board director who has been accused of DUI. Out of respect for the individual in question I'm not going to link the the story, but I did want to reference it here to make a point.  Point?  Well two points actually: 1) Everyone, including politicians, are innocent until proven guilty.  2) Public service is a privilege, not a right.

Related to #1, unfortunately for the individual in question, DUI cases are usually fairly well cut-n-dry.  Either the person was drunk & driving or they were not drunk & driving.  However we do have a system in this country, so best let it play out.

Related to #2, if the individual is found guilty or pleads to some charge related to this, they should immediately resign their position on the Scranton School Board.  There is an expectation that, as a public servant...particularly one serving the children of the community...the standards of conduct are higher than they are for the public in general.  I expect my public servants to follow the rules all the time, not "some of the time" or even "most of the time".  Nope, I expect someone who is being paid by the public to a model of behavior.  Flaunting the law, particularly one designed to prevent serious injury and/or death, simply isn't acceptable.


Busy Few Days...I actually have a lot to do outside of work over the next few days.  Strange, huh?  I normally just sit on my rear-end this time of year, but this time around I am actually busy.


Phil Davison...This is my favorite clip from the "insane politician" department for 2010.



"I have represented our party twice, on the county ballot!"

Priceless stuff.

It took me a while, but I finally figured out who this guy sounds like:  Joe from Family Guy.


Last Dance...In the "you know you are getting old" department, my youngest daughter is going out today to get a dress for a formal dance at school.  Yes, my baby is a senior in high school.  It seems like yesterday that she was a curly haired toddler.  Time does indeed fly.  Next up for the youngest Albert girl:  a visit to Shippensburg University.

Peace On ________

I was driving back from the Viewmont Mall this evening and I noticed the "Peace of Earth" lighted display in front of Scranton City Hall.  As I looked at it while stopped at the Mulberry/North Washington intersection it occurred to me that maybe we should be aiming a bit lower.  How about just "Peace in Scranton City Hall" first?

Joe Miller Quits

Apparently Alaskan cry-baby U.S. Senate candidate (and Sarah Palin lap-dog) Joe Miller has decided to drop his asinine challenge to the write-in victory of incumbent Senate Lisa Murkowski.  Story link HERE.

At last, an Alaskan quitter that I agree with.

Miller is going to continue a lawsuit challenging the way votes were counted in the contest.  I guess he is hoping for some judicial activism of the kind that he might agree with.  Score one for the ironic.  

2010: The Year the Rules Changed

How could I not take a few moments to look back on 2010?  The interesting part is that, by virtue of my own official blogger rules, I really can't write about some of what happened during the year.  However when I look back on some of this year's postings...and having the benefit of the "Steve decoder ring" (which one or two other people also have)...I can see that I actually did write about quite a bit of sensitive stuff, all be it in an exceedingly indirect way.


So here we go...2010, the year the rules changed.


Doing Big Things
It's no secret that the past few months have been somewhat *difficult* for me personally.  It's also not an understatement to say that I was unprepared for all that has happened, but sometimes life is like a swimming pool:  every once in a while you just have to jump in (or I guess "jump out" in the case of divorce). Now I'm not claiming that I am over the difficult stuff, because I am not, and I readily acknowledge that fact.  What I can claim in some way is that I've expanded my capacity to handle the difficult stuff, which I hope puts me in a good place for the future.


Yes, the skin is a bit thicker and I've experienced some emotions in quantities that have been unnerving (at best), but I'm here to write about the experience, and that in and of itself is a good thing.


Getting By With A Little Help From My Friends
I've written about this before, but one of the things I've learned in 2010 is that friendship is more than just one a way street.  For years I think I was a friend to some folks, but that friendship was more about my helping them than anything else.  That's not because others didn't want to help me, but rather because I simply never asked for help.  That was wrong, and I have been stubbornly pig-headed for far too long.


Feeling Feelings, Not Thinking Them
I've learned that feeling are to be felt, not analyzed like some kind of Algebra problem.  I also learned that, in my personal life, I need to be more simple and direct with my feelings.  There is no sin in saying "I am angry because _______" if you are actually angry.  In fact, it's healthy.  Funny thing is that I have that kind of thing handled in my professional life, but never really in my personal life.  That has started to change, for the better.  I can now be angry without feeling guilty about being angry.  Small miracle, to be sure, but a miracle never the less.


Faith Matters
Let me say this right up front:  I am not claiming any kind of religious revival.  But I have seen and experienced a few things over the past two months that have me thinking that maybe, just maybe, there are things in this universe that simply can't be explained as being some kind of random accident.  Why do our lives take the turns that they do?  Sure, some of it is random chance based upon the choices we make.  However what is so random about getting that helping hand precisely at the moment when you are just about to fall off the cliff?    


I do not believe that we are somehow "controlled" by some old white dude who lives on a cloud; that's a fiction best left to children (and people with the intellect of children).  Free will don't you know.  But I do (now) think that sometimes our lives may be steered in certain directions.  Why?  Best I can figure it may be so that we can have the opportunity to grow and become more of what we are capable of becoming for the people in our lives and the world around us.  


Now the trick is to figure out what I should be doing with these kinds of thoughts.  Hint:  tent revivals are not in my future, but perhaps some additional faith exploration is in the offing.


By the way, my definition of "faith" may be different than yours.  For me, "faith" is the idea that you believe in something even when there is no proof to support that belief.  It doesn't have as much to do with dogma as it does in having your mind open to the notion that we are not capable of understanding it all.


I'm A Lucky Guy
I really am a lucky guy.  


I have three intelligent, beautiful, insightful daughters who make me very proud.


There are people who care about me.  


I have a job that enables me to pay my bills, help my children through college and still have enough left over to buy a toy every now and then.


I'm reasonably healthy.  


I have my wits about me.  


I've had the opportunity to learn some really, really tough lessons in life and live to tell about it.  


At 46 I'm still interested in learning new things.  I actually now have a copy of the Brandenburg Concerto.






Here's to 2011 & a new set of rules.
  

2000 Miles

...and so this is Christmas

It's Christmas Eve 2010 and I'm sitting here with my 22 year old daughter watching "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town".  Life is truly good and I am truly blessed.


Merry Christmas!

Lackawanna County Prison: Epic Fail

Two recent articles in the Scranton Times that I wanted to reference.




Father William Pickard's Op-Ed piece.
Community Must Not Tolerate Inhumane Treatment At Prison
From my perspective, this is a must read if you truly profess to be a Christian.  Father Pickard holds nothing back in this piece; I particularly like the following excerpt:


"We must hold our county commissioners - Mike Washo, Corey O'Brien and A.J. Munchak - responsible for their failures to govern humanely."

Father Pickard is 100% correct in this assertion, and it's time that our elected officials act as if they are accountable for something. 




Prison Guards Engaged In Smuggling?
FBI Investigating Guards At Lackawanna County Prison
If this story pans out...if there is evidence that guards at the prison are padding their pocketbooks by colluding with prisoners to smuggle tobacco products...then we have yet another epic failure of government in NEPA to do the basic stuff that we, the taxpayers should be able to take for granted.  Now I realize that running a prison is not an easy undertaking, but in the real world (outside of the Oz-esque bubble called NEPA & certain parts of Chicago) places like prisons are managed by professionals who know what they are doing, not political hacks who treat a governmental operation like an employment agency for friends and relatives.




Perhaps it's time to end the Lackawanna County system of prison governance and replace the Prison Board members with a broader set of community leaders who are less interested in running an employment agency and more interested in the serious work that prisons should be conducting (as noted by Father Pickard).




Side-Bar:  I apologize for the font type and size being all over the place in this (and other) postings.  The blogger.com folks don't necessarily make changing fonts a seamless process, but hell, it's still free.

Note to a Friend Getting Married

I have a good friend who is getting married today (yes, on Christmas Eve), so I just want to send out some positive karma her way.  Now for the record I've known this person (name withheld to protect the innocent) for something like 10+ years.  I could tell some stories over the years about her...all very good...but I'll just mention one anecdote that speaks to her character.


It was back in October and I was feeling horribly sorry for myself over all these changes in my life that didn't seem to be working out all that well.  The exact details are unimportant, but I just loved one of her reactions.  It was, and I quote, "Steve, stop being such a chicken $hit!".  You simply can't make that kind of stuff up.  


On a more serious note, I truly treasure the people in my life who care enough to deliver the tough message when it is needed.  She is that kind of person.  As she starts a new chapter in her life later today, I want to wish her all the love and happiness that she truly deserves.


As Casey Kasem would say, "...here's your long distance dedication..."

The New York Times: An Unpaid Debt

An important opinion piece from the New York Times, published this morning.


An Unpaid Debt


I don't subscribe to the "all firemen and all police officers are heroes" stuff, but the first responders who, without blinking an eye rushed to ground zero to save lives are heroes.  The very least this country should do for them is to insure that they receive the medical care they deserve for their acts of heroism.


The United States Senate should get off its collective ass and pass this important piece of legislation.  Politicians like to talk about "honoring heroes" when they are stumping for re-election or posturing for the media, but talk is cheap...healthcare is not.


Worried about how to pay for this?  Let's get the money from the Saudi Arabian government, as they spawned the vast majority of the 9/11 killers.