Search This Blog

Thursday, December 30, 2021

2021: Keeping Stuff Together

My glasses are a kind of avatar for 2021.

They are, for all intense and purposes, broken.  Yet with the help of some tape, a hot glue gun, and some patience, they manage to soldier on.  As do many of us I think.

Just as a side note, I do have another, newer pair of glasses, but I prefer not to wear them.  That's for both practical and stubborn reasons...

...practically speaking, I just prefer my old glasses.  They weigh next to nothing, and the reality is that I just don't see well.

...the stubborn part of me is still not happy that I was talked (yet again) into buying my new glasses in the first place.

To that second point, that's been something of an ongoing theme with my eye care provider.  That's on my list of things to work on in 2022.

Anyway, 2021 was a difficult year (thank you Captain Obvious), something that many of us can say with some surety.  I wrote that last sentence without having had anyone I know succumbing to COVID, and my heart goes out to those who did lose loved ones in 2021.  COVID has been particularly cruel in 2021, if for no other reason than the fact that it seemed like we collectively were starting to get past it.  COVID had different ideas though, and in the end, I think this linear flow of "beginning...middle...end" isn't going to apply here.  We may never end this, and as frustrating as that sounds, it's a reality we need to be prepared to face.  

For me, and for many others, there has been plenty of collateral damage coming from COVID in 2019.  Physically I just don't feel as well.  I've gained too much weight, and I am not nearly active enough.  If I were a car, I'd be running at about 110,000 miles, and that comes with all the required maintenance and things to repair that just happen when the years miles begin to pile up.  The good news is that I can make some changes in that department.  Of course, things would be easier if there was a bit more stability in one key part of my life.

That last sentence is my professional life, and the signs are hopeful.  I confess that I've been trying to unlearn a few things over this past year.  Things like...

...the need to be in charge

...defining success based on other people's measures

...blaming myself for not being successful enough (something that I can't actually define)

...comparing myself to others & engaging in countless "what if's"

This sounds so simple, but yet it is so very, very hard.  A lot of it boils down to the simple to say, but hard to actually define (and make happen) idea of "I just want to be happy".  At 57 years one would think that I would have a better handle on that, but I readily confess that I don't.  And I may never will.  But I'll keep trying.

No comments: