Listed by Age

I had my annual business trip a few weeks ago, which by my prior travel standards is pretty lightweight stuff.  I specifically mean that, over the course of about 39 or so years in the workforce, only having to travel once a year is actually a bit of a refreshing change.  To digress for a moment, it's important to note the following from my personal perspective:

There is nothing good about business travel.  It involves a lot of running around, sometimes last-minute changes to arrangements, being "on" almost all the time, navigating different (and too much) food and having to be the buzzkill that doesn't drink alcohol.  

And I don't sleep well.  

I could go on, but the point is made.  Now I am exceptionally grateful for all of the opportunities I have had to travel on business.  In fact, the very first time I was ever on an airplane was a work trip for Prudential back in 1989. Over the years I got to see places as diverse as San Diego CA, Salt Lake City UT, Jackson MS, Minneapolis MN, etc.  I got to see a lot.  And at this stage, that's enough.

This particular business trip was something of an annual review meeting and planning session for the next year, held in Fort Worth, Texas.  I like Fort Worth, by the way, as it has a fairly laid-back feeling about it and the people have proven themselves to be exceptionally nice over the decades.  Why they elect folks like Rafael "I don't want to seem Hispanic" Cruz to the U.S. Senate is beyond me.  Side note, he doesn't need to learn Spanish for the Bad Bunny Superbowl halftime show because he already speaks it (just don't tell anyone, as it's a secret...I am kidding...he once got into a Spanish argument with Marco Rubio, which was very entertaining).

The meetings went well.  In attendance was the leadership team for my work group, and I was glad to be a mere participant, although I ran a part of the meeting that focused on talent.  My co-workers are good folks from across the country (coming into Fort Worth from Chicago, San Diego, Grand Rapids MI, Houston, and of course Northeastern PA).  Things moved along rather nicely.  Among my jobs during the meeting was to be what I'll call the "Slide Monkey", a.k.a. the person who got to show and navigate PowerPoint presentations for others.  

Now to the "Listed by Age" part.

Between presentations, for whatever reason, we had a brief discussion about how old everyone was, as in "Who here thinks they are the oldest in the room?".  Honestly, it was no contest.  I was the oldest, by about 10 years.  Thankfully, either by honest reaction or mere pity, one of my peers was surprised at my age.  Now I get the fact that such things may make HR folks* cringe, but as I noted before, my co-workers are good folks, so I wasn't too bothered by it.  Key word there being "too".

It was later that day when the whole age discussion became part of a nexus of things happening in my life related to career, next steps, purpose, etc.  It was a kind of cosmic breadcrumb leading me down a path.  

As the week continued, I felt even more aware of my age, in a way that has never really occurred to me before. And this isn't because of health challenges that I (and others who are getting up in years) face, but rather it really was more of an attitude/awareness kind of thing.  For one of the first times in my life, I actually felt old.

I own the above, for the record.  It doesn't make me sad.  I have no thoughts of dirt napping.  I don't feel washed-up, out of touch or some kind of technological Luddite.  I felt differentiated in a way, and it was okay.

Finally, and only quasi-related to the above, during the offsite the team had a rather brisk discussion about the use of AI tools such as Chat GPT.  Surprisingly, it was not the old people (*cough* me) that were the most adverse to it.  I respected the opinions shared, although it's very, very clear that, at this juncture, if you are in the business world, you need to be comfortable using these kinds of tools.  To end this post, I will share a few thoughts about AI...

• It's just another tool
• Unfortunately, it can be an excuse for people to effectively outsource sincerity when it comes to written interactions with others
• In creative endeavors, it is effectively intellectual property theft (see the "No AI Training" disclaimer of this site)

I don't worry about the businesspeople out there when it comes to AI...they will learn to use it.  Instead I worry about grade school kids not learning how to string original thoughts together using the written word.  This will not serve anyone's interest.

(*) By way of disclosure, I have a Master of Science degree in Human Resources from Villanova University and I am a Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) Senior Certified Professional.

The Reverend David Rivers

Very recently, my father-in-law, Rev. David Rivers, passed away after a long illness.  You can read his obituary HERE.

Smarter and more eloquent folks than I will write better remembrances of David, so I'm not even going to try to be anything other than simple and honest.  Here goes.

I remember vividly the very first time I met Ms. Rivers' father:  It was a family gathering at Grotto Pizza, Harvey's Lake, around Christmas time.  This was my introduction to much of Ms. Rivers' family, and I was a bit unsure of things.  One of the reasons why...and I swear this is the absolute truth...was that I had never really met a Protestant clergy member before.  I literally didn't know what to expect.  Now in all fairness, Ms. Rivers did somewhat prepare me for the event, but there is only so much that can be done in situations like this.  Anyway, I entered Grotto Pizza, and one of the first people I met was David, who was in attendance with his brother Dick Rivers (a retired and well-regarded coal company attorney from Philadelphia).  Upon meeting me, the very first thing out of his mouth, along with his brother, was a Dolly Parton joke.  I kid you not.  They laughed, and I was mainly confused.  This was my introduction to Protestant clergy.  And to Ms. Rivers' family.

I love telling the above story, by the way.  

This is the part where I say that I was welcomed into the family, etc.  That is true, by the way.  Here's the thing about David though: More so than the vast majority of folks I've ever met, he was very smart, but equally unassuming.  Whatever I thought about how an Episcopal priest should be mattered not when it came to him.  On more than one occasion over the years he would ask me a question about something happening in "The Roman Church", requiring me to basically speak for all of Roman Catholicism.  This is, by the way, an almost frighteningly humorous position for me to be in.  Anyway, I didn't mind, because he would ask out of a genuine interest in the discussion.  There was never any semblance of being judged...there was only an honest interest in my opinion and the discussion to be had as a whole.  I've since come to regard the Episcopal Church as being a kind of home, with the Rev. David Rivers personally exemplified its very best.

In addition to being the "family Catholic" there were/are other differences that one would think could (but actually didn't) make me feel out of place in the Rivers family, including abstaining from alcohol, my limited choices in food...best described by many as "eating like a toddler"...my lack of interest in folk music, or the Phillies, etc.  But none of that ever seemed to matter with David, as he had a wonderful ability to see people and things in ways that transcended mere labels.  

Finally, I will note that, of all the Rivers siblings (daughters Christine, Julie, Diana and son John), I think my wife is the most like her father.  They have shared a similar temperament, a quiet sort of deep intelligence, and a strong sense of real-world morality.  Both represent the very definition of "good people", and my life has forever been changed for the better by knowing them.  While David is gone, his living legacy remains, carried forward wonderfully by all of his children, especially his oldest daughter Christine.

"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on" 

Irving Berlin 

Checking In

Saying that there has been a lot going in and around me over the past few months is a bit like saying "Nickelback may not be the most popular band out there".  Apologies if you actually like Nickelback, by the way.  So yes, things have been busy.

The swirl of things on "the outside", i.e., the news of the world, social media and such, is borderline blinding, to the point where I don't know that anyone could consume a steady stream of this and remain healthy.  This might be why so many seem like they are not so mentally healthy these days.  As for me, I am trying my best to be on an information diet, consuming enough to be informed, but not so much that I find myself falling into a literal rage vortex of every-circling feces.  Sometimes this strategy works; other times it does not.  I don't see too many alternatives out there though.  This isn't intended to hide myself from righteous outrage, but it is to prevent myself from constant outrage.  

In an odd sort of way I think that some of the powerful actually want a perpetually outraged populace.  They are like magicians...by getting folks to focus on the hand of outrage, they hope that they won't see the other hand engaging in near constant personal enrichment.  The trick for all of us is to be informed...but not distracted.  It's a tough act.

All of the above noted, I will note that I have followed, to an extent, the death of conservative media personality Charlie Kirk.  Getting killed right in front of your family during a public event with videos running everywhere is not exactly a dignified way for someone to end their life.  So yes, I do understand the outrage at his death that some feel. Here's the TRULY troubling part from those same people outraged at this recent death:

WHERE IS THIS SAME OUTRAGE WHEN LITTLE CHILDREN ARE GUNNED DOWN IN SCHOOL?

WHY ISN'T THE PRESIDENT HONORING THIS HERO CHILD*?

(*) See this video:  https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mZ3QUJz8yCI  (or any of the hero teachers who saved children during the all too common school shootings in this country.)

Let's be honest here:  The late Charlie Kirk has become more of an avatar for some rather than an actual violent crime victim.  It has become a reason to feed the outrage machine and distract from what the other hand is doing.  By the way, I received a donation solicitation from some scumbag feigning to be his widow last Thursday.  Yes, it's gotten that bad.

Oh, and let's talk about the "whataboutism"?  That would be "Oh yeah, well what about when _______ happened?".  Is that what I am engaging in right now?  

The simple answer is no.

The death of Charlie Kirk seems to be unique in U.S. political and social discourse.  What's not unique in U.S.?  Mass shootings and gun violence.  I actually think Charlie Kirk once spoke an uncomfortable truth about this very topic, a point which many of his followers conveniently now seem to forget:

(Validation:  https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/charlie-kirk-gun-deaths-quote/)

So in a very real sense, the death of Charlie Kirk is just "another" payment in our never-ending life debt to the Second Amendment. For the record, I don't think God gave us the right to kill each other with high-powered weaponry.

Let me be clear:  I am not placing any value judgement on the life of Charlie Kirk.  People can and have said that he was both a horrible human being and a brilliant cultural warrior.  Like most of us, he was a mix of both good and bad.  Personally, I have problem with anyone who demeans the value of another simply based on their religion, race, gender or ethnicity.  Was Charlie Kirk guilty of that?  Well you can find out for yourself.  

I would also be wary of any arugments that works along the lines of "well I only agree with some of what he said".  Why?  Because it depends on the things he said that one DOES NOT AGREE WITH.  Making stuff up, if he said that "I think there is too much crime in cities" and you disagree with that, such a thing is much different than "husbands should be allowed to vote for their wives" (again, just making something up...not attributed to him).  The magnitude of what you disagree with is an essential element in any evaluation of the person.  Failure to consider this runs into what I will call the "Fallacy of Mussolini", namely that "well, he made the trains run on time".  Yes he may have made the trains run on time, but he also did some terrible stuff that greatly outweighs the punctuality of public transportation.

The above standard should be held to Charlie Kirk as well.

The truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours

The title comes from a quote attributed to Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.  As I think about some recent events well, nothing could be further from the truth.

Decades of self-righteous talking heads, both male and female, made fodder over the decadence of rock musicians, heavy metal genre in particular.  Some of that was deserved, by the way.  But not all of it.  Then we have someone beloved by these conservative religious types, namely the current president of the United States, on a four-year quest for personal wealth enrichment.  Most recently, for example, using an official visit to Scotland to promote his golf course.  

On the other hand, we have the late Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath hold a concert that raised $190 million for charity.  Take Fox News' word for it...

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/ozzy-osbournes-legendary-final-performance-raised-staggering-190m-worthy-causes

...yeah, that Fox News.  Anyway, this was an Ozzy Osbourne who likely knew he was close to death but yet still wanted to do this one last thing.  Make that one last GOOD THING.  

There is a moral of this story in that sometimes what we think is black is actually white.  And what we are told is righteous is actually corrupt.  To the extent judgement is requested, wanted or needed, such a thing should be based on actions, not words.  For example, the "immoral Prince of Darkness" helping to raise $190 million for charity vs. the Christian Nationalist favorite president who had to pay a $2 million penalty for mis-using charity funds.  

https://ag.ny.gov/press-release/2019/donald-j-trump-pays-court-ordered-2-million-illegally-using-trump-foundation

In the end, I know that Ozzy Osbourne was no saint.  But the president of the United States isn't either.  Given the choice though, I'll go with the guy who wanted to make people enjoy music, as opposed to the guy who sucks up to dictators and thinks that concentration camps are perfectly okay.

Files? We don’t got no stinking files! Or maybe do, but they are fake! Obama!

 

                                        (Real, actual tweet from the president’s oldest, circa 2023; citation HERE.)

Here’s the most interesting part of the whole debacle that has been the current president’s handling of the Epstein case:  I think there’s about a 50/50 chance that he (the current president*) wasn’t a client of the previously mentioned modern-Day Monster (henceforth simply “The Monster”).  I say this for two reasons:

1.            He is a notorious germaphobe.

2.            With him, it always goes back to money and greed.

To that second point, I think the relationship with The Monster was likely far more about making money than it was the exploitation of children. The abuse of children is not impossible, but I am saying that it wasn't the primary driver.

Oh, and before I forget to mention it, let’s all agree that the term “underaged women” or similar words are repugnant in that they are an attempt to soft sell the crimes committed.  These were CHILDREN that were abused. 

Given this, why the utterly ridiculous denial of The Monster’s client list in the first place?  Again, note that this is after using the client list as a literal hammer to go after opponents for YEARS.  See Junior's actual Tweet, above.  Anyway, here’s my theory:

•              There is a list.

•              Even if he was not a client, he’s referenced in it repeatedly.

•              It’s not really just him that’s being protected…instead it’s his class of people.

That third bullet is the key.  We all want to believe that supervillains who do terrible things are fictional, but what if it were true that the multi-multi-millionaire and billionaire classes can use their money and power to, for example, exploit children for the very worst of reasons?  What if some of these folks were names that we would all recognize (akin to “Prince” Andrew)?  This class of people has conditioned the masses to believe that they are better than the rest of us.  More successful.  More powerful.  Simply better.  But what if they are worse?  How would the 99% of folks who are not in these upper echelons of society react if it became common knowledge that one of the privileges that money buys is the sexual assault of children?

What if all of this were about protecting the image of the rich and powerful?  Now I am not prone to conspiracy  theories, but in this case, we have something of a tiny peephole into reality, namely the case of Britian’s Prince Andrew.  You can read more about that HERE.

A bottom line of sorts:  Release the damn list.  Release everything.  Every name.  Every connection.  Every log.  Every scrap of paper.  Make this a teachable, wake-up moment for modern society where an uncaring population must come face to face with the fact that being rich and powerful can sometimes make you a monster who does terrible, terrible things.  Lay bare the fact that unrestricted wealth and power can have horrible consequences.  Force us to reconcile a society that promotes high ideals but allows the lowest of behaviors when money is involved.  Remind us that some are above the law by virtue of money and power, even if we pretend that justice is somehow equal.

Nothing can or will change until we face reality first.

 

 

(*) His name is a trademark.  I don’t reference trademarks here, and I don’t want anything I note to, in any way, shape or form be seen as promoting him or his “brand”.

An Unusual Summer

It feels like summer has just begun.  This could be for a few different reasons…
 
…the weather has been decidedly un-summer-esque, with tons of rain
…because of the above, I haven’t been able to do much outside
…my brother’s passing in late April
 
…plus, the usual suspects of being tired from earn-a-living work stuff and just generally not always feeling all that well.
 
I fully realize that some of the above I can impact, while others, well, not so much. 
 
In any event, I have started to get some of my summer mojo back, having mostly cleaned out the garage, temporarily fixing the garage door, putting together a bench (that was sitting in my shed for over a year) and organizing some tools.  There was also the incident yesterday when I was using my miter saw and it nearly cut the tip of my thumb open (thank God for thumbnails), but we shall not discuss that any further.
 
I’ve also been starting to get some more important things done, such as getting a new pair of glasses.  My old pair, which I had for about a year, were simply horrible, as they were too large, kept sliding down my nose, and a few other things.  Having been wearing glasses since I was 5 years old, one would think that I would be able to always pick out good frames, but there was a lesson learned in last year’s selection: Don’t allow yourself to be sold something you don’t really want.  I remember getting the glasses last year at a time when the opticians’ office was very crowded, they didn’t have the kind of frames I wanted, I felt rushed and pushed to accept something that I didn’t think would work.  In any event, and as noted, lessons learned, and new glasses should be ready this week.
 
As a side note, I am currently wearing a pair from a few years ago that are working well.  See above (thumb…) as to why I really need to be wearing my glasses.  All of the time.
 
Hanging over all of that over the last few months has been the news, particularly that of what has come out of Washington D.C.  This continues to be something of a dark time, for many reasons I have already explained in the past.  This cannot end soon enough.
 
While summer from a “doing summery stuff” perspective has been lagging, what hasn’t lagged has been the actual calendar.  It feels like summer is going by too quickly.  Part of this I readily acknowledge is the fact that time in general seems to pass by more quickly the older I get.  That’s a kind of cruel joke. 
 
What won’t be a part of this summer is any kind of multi-day trip.  With Ms. Rivers starting a new job and the 6 weeks of new hire training for me at work (as in my conducting…), the timing hasn’t been good.  We will probably go on some kind of trip in October though, after time off has accumulated (Ms. Rivers) and (hopefully) I won’t be in perpetual new hire training.  We shall see.
 
Speaking of trips, over dinner yesterday, Ms. Rivers and I brainstormed all the trips we would like to take in the years to come, before we get too old and decrepit.  While we still have to prioritize these things, here’s the list… 

Ireland

 

Hawaii 

 

Caribbean

 

Puerto Rico 

 

Oregon/Seattle 

 

Southwest/Arizona/New Mexico

 

Las Vegas

 

Michigan/Mackinaw Island

 

Mississippi River Cruise

 

Savannah GA

 

Toronto 

 

Canadian Train Trip

 

Norway/Sweden 

 

England - London

 

England - Liverpool, Wales

 

Germany - Rhine River Cruise

 

France - Paris

 

Mediterranean Cruise

 

Italy - Rome, Florence 

 
…given the math associated with getting older, I think we should get started.
 
Finally, and speaking of summer, while visiting my sister-in-law on the 4^th, I spent a few quality minutes with her beehive.  It’s a good reminder of what is important in life, and I am not talking about honey, which I don’t particularly like anyway.  No, this is more about order, simplicity and purpose…
 
 

 

…all of which the world could use a bit more of these days.

Road Apples, #181

 

It's been a while since I've written a Road Apples posting.  A very long time in fact, well in how time seems to flow these days.  Anyway, here we go.

The Ugly Times

I was thinking about how, in 10 years' time (and God willing my mortal coil has not yet extinguished), I will look back at this point and time in our nation's history.  The best I've come up with is the phrase "The Ugly Times".  There is no defending ripping families apart.  No justification for masked individuals purporting to be federal law enforcement officers but yet not in uniform, taking people out of their homes, places of work, immigration courts (the irony is steamy in those cases) and schools.  In this country law enforcement serves the people, a concept that runs counter to faceless people piling out of an SUV to abduct someone.

Yes, we can enforce the nation's immigration laws, but this is not the path.  In 10 years' time, many will feel shame.  I hope.  If they are even capable.

Retirement

Being in my very early 60's, I've been more seriously thinking about retirement.  I am very interested in opinions from others about retiring "early".  If someone could retire at age 62, for example, should they?  A key parameter to consider:  Through a combination of hard work and luck, the financial aspect of retiring early isn't much an issue for me.  Any opinions you may have would be greatly appreciated.  Feel free to comment or email me at steve_g1964@hotmail.com.

Note:  If there is someone out there reading this who feels compelled to spam me or offer any other kind of solicitation, my reply will be the entire Unibomber Manifesto.  I am not kidding.

It's Raining (for a change)

It's not raining now as I start writing this, but it is virtually guaranteed that, by the time I finish it (in a day or so) it will have rained at least once.  In years past, for example, a forecast of "23% chance of rain" pretty much meant that it wasn't going to rain.  This year?  That means that it will absolutely, positively be raining at some point.  Has forecasting gotten that bad?  Was "Big Balls" set loose at NOAA?

Don't Look Back in Anger

I was eating lunch last weekend at a burger place and this song was playing in the background with its chorus of "And so Sally can wait, she knows it’s too late...".  Never heard it before.  I googled the lyrics, and it is from "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis.  In addition to being just a great song, it seems to fit with the premise noted in the first part of this posting.

 (Fun Fact:  The song is sung by the lessor crazy Gallagher brother, Noel).

It also feels oddly fitting when I think about how I have been feeling over the past few weeks.  I'm not holding onto any real anger towards anyone else.  Maybe though this is about holding onto other things well past their appropriate time.  This is part of the magic of music I know to be true: It is almost entirely non-linear in that what I hear may not be what was intended or what others hear.  Like I said, magic.

Father's Day...in the Living Years

For whatever reason, I've recently realized that the song The Living Years is just about as great a song about fatherhood as has ever been crafted.

 

For the record this does not remind me of my own father.  While I've written about my father in the past and am not really all that interested in revisiting things now, I'll simply state that my father was not in any measurable way a part of my life.  He was, in essence, a kind of "anti-example".  If anything, the lyrics of The Living Years make me think about my own legacy as a father, as well as others that I know who had fathers that were a part of their lives.

Here's the thing about legacies though: They are always written backward in time, likely in a time and place where the mortal coil will have ceased functioning.

I think the best fathers are very aware of the things they wished they had done differently, which seems to me to be the real message of the song The Living Years.  I know that there are things I wish I had done differently, but I also know that at any given moment in those past times, I was trying to do the best I could.  More than anything else, I tried to simply be present, unlike my own father.  I also hope that I have provided some sense of stability, of reasonability, of order of a sort in a world that I knew was becoming increasingly unstable, unreasonable and chaotic.  You just need to read the news to see this displayed in real time.

These days I live in what I've told Ms. Rivers is the paradox of conscious parenting: You prepare your sons and daughters to be independent and live out in the real world, making their own lives, which will often mean that you see them less.  While there have been things going on in my life that aren't necessarily very positive, words cannot express how very happy I was for my daughters to all be there when Ms. Rivers and I had an early anniversary get together a few weeks ago.  For about 2 hours when they were there, I was able to be immersed in the very best thing I have ever done as a human.

In the final analysis, I try to be a humble person, but when I think about how my children are doing, well, I have to give myself some extra grace in the pride department.  

So Happy Father's Day to all the dads that showed up, did their best, and have gotten the opportunity to look with pride upon their children, whether that view be from this world or the next.  

* * * * * *

The Living Years

(songwriters B.A.Roberston, Mike Rutherford)

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So Don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be OK.

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

Let's Be Careful Out There

 

It think it is most definitely appropriate to begin this post about current events with a scene from one of my favorite television shows ever, Hill Street Blues.

In the case of this posting, it's not just the police I think should be careful out there, but everyone.  I speak of what's happening at this very moment in Los Angeles, California.  A few disjointed thoughts are in order.

We don't use the military against our own citizens in the United States.  If you are not from the U.S. this may not seem like much, but it is a very, very big deal.  And that line has been crossed with, as of this writing, the deployment of about 700 Marines in Los Angeles.

I grieve for the individuals living in fear of deportation.  It's a fabrication...a fiction of the highest order...that every immigrant in the U.S. who is not legally here is a criminal.  They are simply the target of a bigot, picked because, based on their status, they offer zero in the way of political resistance.  

I admire the protesters in Los Angeles.  Are there opportunists using this as an excuse to sow anarchy?  Sure.  Are the vast majority of those protesting upholding the best ideals we have...standing up for others, for their community...standing up to oppression?  Absolutely.  They are heroes.

Irony is dead in Washington D.C. among many Republicans.  You can't call what happened on January 6th a peaceful event on one hand and then condemn what is happening in Los Angeles on the other.  Yet many are, and it is beyond ironic.

We should hold the police, government agents and the military to the highest possible standards of conduct.  For example, United States Marines swear an oath to uphold the Constitution and follow orders...as long as those orders don't violate the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  No member of the military should be blindly following orders.  

Whether you’re talking about soldiers in the field or generals in the theater of battle, the general rule is service members have a duty to obey lawful orders. But there is also a duty to disobey manifestly unlawful orders—that is, orders that a person of ordinary sense and understanding would know to be unlawful.  [Citation HERE.]

I am sure there are individuals among the government agents, police, National Guard and Marines who are deeply troubled by what they are being asked to do.  Spoken far better than I...

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/14uCUYHkaA/

I fear this will get worse.  One need only remember what happened a few years ago...

https://www.npr.org/2022/05/09/1097517470/trump-esper-book-defense-secretary

...to fully grasp what could be happening.

Call me overly dramatic.  I don't care.  Ditto to charges of being "liberal" or many of its variations.  What is happening in our country is wrong.  We should not be the country of deporting children from schools.  We should not be a country of bullies.  We should not be the country where the military polices cities.  If you happen to believe otherwise, well that's your prerogative, and your soul.

Ad meliorem locum

There was no grand plan for my brother Joe's burial service to be on the same day as his birthday...it just worked out that way, which I was reminded of courtesy of my watch this morning.

Actually, the plan for Joe's service today was made last week, after consulting with a few different folks.  Somehow the birthday connection seems fitting.

For those that did not know my brother, he was the youngest of 4 (now 2) Albert Boys, all a year apart in age.  I'd like to think that we were all very different in many ways, but that was especially true for Joe.  Avoiding any long screeds about life growing up, I will instead note that we didn't have a particularly nurturing home environment, and while I know Joe was taken care of to a greater degree by our mother early on, as they both grew older, well, it became more difficult for Joe.  This is because each of us, except Joe, found a way to escape our upbringing in some way.  After high school graduation, Rich went headlong into work/school, I went to school for the next 4 years, and Chris went into the Navy.  Joe remained.

In one respect (pretty much only), my younger brother's disability was probably a blessing in the sense that he didn't process our world growing up in the same way that his brothers did, and in the ways that caused us to plot our escapes.  

Speaking of disability, Joe didn't see himself that way.  I know he was aware of being different, but that wasn't a major part of what shaped his life from his perspective.  Just like everyone else, I think he just was trying his best, getting up each day, and doing his thing.  An increasingly complex world meant that some things raced past him, including a working environment that required a use of technology that became beyond his own capabilities.  He didn't bemoan this fact by the way, but in typical Joe fashion, he just accepted it.  This is something that I would be incapable of doing myself.  I will note that Joe worked full time until he was nearly 50 years old.  As indicated above, Joe had the ability to show up, which is not something that everyone has in this day and age.

Speaking of support, our mother never sought out any additional support for Joe growing up, for reasons that died with her more than a decade ago.  The Scranton School District though was very supportive of him.  The bashers of public education seem chronically unable to acknowledge the fact that public schools take those students that private schools would never have in the first place, and in Joe's case, provide him with a valuable education. While schools like to point with pride to the high, mighty and credentialed as examples of their success, I offer the fact that my brother is a different kind of success story...but a success story nevertheless.

I know that the time Joe spent with our mother in the years before she passed away were difficult for him, as our mother was not an easy person to be around.  But yet Joe almost never complained, even though he certainly had the cause to do so.  After our mother's passing, myself, Rich and Chris decided that it was time for Joe to begin to receive some of the services for which he was entitled.  Credit goes to my brother Rich for the heavy lifting associated with getting Joe the financial support he needed to live independently.  My role was to make sure that he did not outlive his financial resources and that, to the greatest extent possible, he was protected from the many ways modern life has of separating the unwitting from their money.

There were, by the way, many ways in which attempts were made to take advantage of Joe over the years.  None of us can make someone else live in a bubble, and in trying to give Joe an independent life, there were bound to be instances where he was taken advantage of.  But there were countless examples also where, between Rich and me, bad things were prevented.  

If you didn't know my brother (and there were many in the Scranton, PA area that did), he was something of an open book...what you see is what you got.  He was friendly towards others, especially back in the days when he worked at the Mall at Steamtown, and his height (6'5") combined with red hair made him stand out in a crowd.  By the way, Joe's standard line when I introduced him to others was "I am his little brother, but I am taller than him" (or words to that effect).  Admittedly, this could be a bit annoying, but I take some solace in the facts that:

A) It was factually correct

B) Making fun of your brother is what brothers have done for as long as there have been brothers

Now I am left being the tallest Albert brother.  It's not much of a consolation prize, thank you very much.  Speaking of fitting in, his remains are now resting close to that of his mother, father and brother Chris.

(Band of Brothers:  Chris, Joe, Steve and Rich)

So, what's left?  Well, there is lawyer stuff and assorted other things to do, which I will be working on over the weeks and months to come. His apartment has been cleared out, thanks to a ton of work by Rich (and I provided an assist), and the local Goodwill now has a large selection of firefighter tee shirts for sale from which the residents of the greater Scranton area can browse.  There were also a decade's worth of cargo pants which I bought for him every Christmas that were lightly used (in later years, Joe's decided preference was sweatpants).  Some Scranton-area thrift shoppers looking for size 42x32 pants may be in luck as well.  It's odd to think about his clothes at a time like this, but if you knew Joe, you knew how seriously he took firefighter stuff, so that fact that his collections of very lightly used and dozens of firefighter-themed shirts will live to see other torsos in the future is oddly comforting.

Time will also march on, and for Joe, that will be to a better place (hence the title...with apologies for any Latin grammatical errors on my part).  I am served with yet another reminder that life has a way of changing in ways that can be expected but not necessarily timely.  Speaking of time, I am hoping to have much more of it on this Earth, where I will do my best to be the better person Joe probably thought I was*.

No one else is allowed to die for a while now.  Okay?

(*) Just kidding.  I think he mostly thought I was a pain in the a$$, which I was, but that was part of what I did to help take care of him.