The Reverend David Rivers

Very recently, my father-in-law, Rev. David Rivers, passed away after a long illness.  You can read his obituary HERE.

Smarter and more eloquent folks than I will write better remembrances of David, so I'm not even going to try to be anything other than simple and honest.  Here goes.

I remember vividly the very first time I met Ms. Rivers' father:  It was a family gathering at Grotto Pizza, Harvey's Lake, around Christmas time.  This was my introduction to much of Ms. Rivers' family, and I was a bit unsure of things.  One of the reasons why...and I swear this is the absolute truth...was that I had never really met a Protestant clergy member before.  I literally didn't know what to expect.  Now in all fairness, Ms. Rivers did somewhat prepare me for the event, but there is only so much that can be done in situations like this.  Anyway, I entered Grotto Pizza, and one of the first people I met was David, who was in attendance with his brother Dick Rivers (a retired and well-regarded coal company attorney from Philadelphia).  Upon meeting me, the very first thing out of his mouth, along with his brother, was a Dolly Parton joke.  I kid you not.  They laughed, and I was mainly confused.  This was my introduction to Protestant clergy.  And to Ms. Rivers' family.

I love telling the above story, by the way.  

This is the part where I say that I was welcomed into the family, etc.  That is true, by the way.  Here's the thing about David though: More so than the vast majority of folks I've ever met, he was very smart, but equally unassuming.  Whatever I thought about how an Episcopal priest should be mattered not when it came to him.  On more than one occasion over the years he would ask me a question about something happening in "The Roman Church", requiring me to basically speak for all of Roman Catholicism.  This is, by the way, an almost frighteningly humorous position for me to be in.  Anyway, I didn't mind, because he would ask out of a genuine interest in the discussion.  There was never any semblance of being judged...there was only an honest interest in my opinion and the discussion to be had as a whole.  I've since come to regard the Episcopal Church as being a kind of home, with the Rev. David Rivers personally exemplified its very best.

In addition to being the "family Catholic" there were/are other differences that one would think could (but actually didn't) make me feel out of place in the Rivers family, including abstaining from alcohol, my limited choices in food...best described by many as "eating like a toddler"...my lack of interest in folk music, or the Phillies, etc.  But none of that ever seemed to matter with David, as he had a wonderful ability to see people and things in ways that transcended mere labels.  

Finally, I will note that, of all the Rivers siblings (daughters Christine, Julie, Diana and son John), I think my wife is the most like her father.  They have shared a similar temperament, a quiet sort of deep intelligence, and a strong sense of real-world morality.  Both represent the very definition of "good people", and my life has forever been changed for the better by knowing them.  While David is gone, his living legacy remains, carried forward wonderfully by all of his children, especially his oldest daughter Christine.

"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on" 

Irving Berlin 

Checking In

Saying that there has been a lot going in and around me over the past few months is a bit like saying "Nickelback may not be the most popular band out there".  Apologies if you actually like Nickelback, by the way.  So yes, things have been busy.

The swirl of things on "the outside", i.e., the news of the world, social media and such, is borderline blinding, to the point where I don't know that anyone could consume a steady stream of this and remain healthy.  This might be why so many seem like they are not so mentally healthy these days.  As for me, I am trying my best to be on an information diet, consuming enough to be informed, but not so much that I find myself falling into a literal rage vortex of every-circling feces.  Sometimes this strategy works; other times it does not.  I don't see too many alternatives out there though.  This isn't intended to hide myself from righteous outrage, but it is to prevent myself from constant outrage.  

In an odd sort of way I think that some of the powerful actually want a perpetually outraged populace.  They are like magicians...by getting folks to focus on the hand of outrage, they hope that they won't see the other hand engaging in near constant personal enrichment.  The trick for all of us is to be informed...but not distracted.  It's a tough act.

All of the above noted, I will note that I have followed, to an extent, the death of conservative media personality Charlie Kirk.  Getting killed right in front of your family during a public event with videos running everywhere is not exactly a dignified way for someone to end their life.  So yes, I do understand the outrage at his death that some feel. Here's the TRULY troubling part from those same people outraged at this recent death:

WHERE IS THIS SAME OUTRAGE WHEN LITTLE CHILDREN ARE GUNNED DOWN IN SCHOOL?

WHY ISN'T THE PRESIDENT HONORING THIS HERO CHILD*?

(*) See this video:  https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mZ3QUJz8yCI  (or any of the hero teachers who saved children during the all too common school shootings in this country.)

Let's be honest here:  The late Charlie Kirk has become more of an avatar for some rather than an actual violent crime victim.  It has become a reason to feed the outrage machine and distract from what the other hand is doing.  By the way, I received a donation solicitation from some scumbag feigning to be his widow last Thursday.  Yes, it's gotten that bad.

Oh, and let's talk about the "whataboutism"?  That would be "Oh yeah, well what about when _______ happened?".  Is that what I am engaging in right now?  

The simple answer is no.

The death of Charlie Kirk seems to be unique in U.S. political and social discourse.  What's not unique in U.S.?  Mass shootings and gun violence.  I actually think Charlie Kirk once spoke an uncomfortable truth about this very topic, a point which many of his followers conveniently now seem to forget:

(Validation:  https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/charlie-kirk-gun-deaths-quote/)

So in a very real sense, the death of Charlie Kirk is just "another" payment in our never-ending life debt to the Second Amendment. For the record, I don't think God gave us the right to kill each other with high-powered weaponry.

Let me be clear:  I am not placing any value judgement on the life of Charlie Kirk.  People can and have said that he was both a horrible human being and a brilliant cultural warrior.  Like most of us, he was a mix of both good and bad.  Personally, I have problem with anyone who demeans the value of another simply based on their religion, race, gender or ethnicity.  Was Charlie Kirk guilty of that?  Well you can find out for yourself.  

I would also be wary of any arugments that works along the lines of "well I only agree with some of what he said".  Why?  Because it depends on the things he said that one DOES NOT AGREE WITH.  Making stuff up, if he said that "I think there is too much crime in cities" and you disagree with that, such a thing is much different than "husbands should be allowed to vote for their wives" (again, just making something up...not attributed to him).  The magnitude of what you disagree with is an essential element in any evaluation of the person.  Failure to consider this runs into what I will call the "Fallacy of Mussolini", namely that "well, he made the trains run on time".  Yes he may have made the trains run on time, but he also did some terrible stuff that greatly outweighs the punctuality of public transportation.

The above standard should be held to Charlie Kirk as well.