Glittering Prizes and Endless Compromises

I love the song "Spirit of Radio" by Rush.  

Mind you that this has nothing really to do with the posting, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a great song.

By way of actual intention, consider this to be something of an update of sorts to my last posting.  To that point, I can report that a week + from the surgery that I am pretty close to being back to normal, with a few exceptions noted.  These include the fact that I will continue to be under lifting restrictions for a while to come and not being able to wear pants that have a belt is something of a challenge. I can live with both, by the way, thanks in part to my having stocked up on sweat and parachute pants.  Ms. Rivers also continues to ground me in reality every time I propose to do something stupid.  Which is often.

In hindsight, this has been more difficult than I imagined.  While I expected some pain after the main event, it ended up being more significant than I thought.  Not unmanageable, by any stretch, but more than I expected.  I'm talking about three nights sleeping in a chair, uncomfortable as it was.  And I hate sleeping in a chair, for the record.  The Hillbilly Heroin prescribed for the first three nights (well enough to cover three nights...) was helpful, but doing even the most basic things was a chore.  Now, the baseline level of pain is more like a mild discomfort, and I more or less don't get the throbbing pain from strenuous acrobatic activities such as "getting up" and "standing".  As I told someone at work, it feels like I have been getting better at a rate of about 5% per day.

Ms. Rivers and I, both being older than younger, still remember a time when these types of things resulted in overnight hospital stays.  To be honest, and fully in hindsight, I don't know that being in a hospital overnight or longer would have sped up my recovery.  This is in part due to the fact that your average hospital is in fact one of the least restful places you can find yourself at any given time.  This is out of necessity, which I get, but while sleeping in a chair at home I don't have to hear a buzzer coming from another room (for example).  And the lights are off.  What the same day surgery thing does require is a bit of diligence and reading comprehension, which makes me wonder why it apparently is as successful as it appears to be, but who am I to argue with success?  I just know that I am a rule-follower by design, so if the instructions say "don't peel your wound-glue like Elmers off your finger tips" then I gladly obey.

Productivity is down.

I have not been nearly as productive as I would normally be, which seems equal parts realistic and a non-event to everyone but me.  Being a rule-follower (as noted above), I have been pretty good at not exceeding the lifting limit placed on me, although I also confess to actually weighing a few things to see if I could get it to slide under the limit.  This is an example in action of the guilt I feel at not always being able to do things, to pull my weight, if you will.  In the far, dark corners of my head I can hear my mother yelling about my just laying around.  In my case now though I would have Ms. Rivers yelling about my doing too much (she actually doesn't yell...she doesn't have to...but it is a kind of motivational equivalency).  

As to what I have been up to, well, I finished watching all 17 seasons of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".  Great show, by the way.  

And yesterday I picked up leaves from the front of the house (all while not lifting more than 10 pounds).  And I've done some online shopping.  That's about it.  That's about enough as well.

Lastly, thank you to all who wished me well, checked in on me or otherwise sent good vibes my way.  Every word or comment has been deeply appreciated.  

"Useless, Useless"

Source:  HERE.

As I was in the recovery area at Geisinger Wyoming Valley surgery center, coming off 4+ hours under anesthesia, the first words out of my mouth, as I was looking at the IVs in both hands was "Useless, Useless".  Nurse Brittany, who was equal parts kind and exceptionally competent, wasn't sure what to make of it, other than to tell me "You still have them" (as in my hands, I think).

Edit:  I should have mentioned that I have no idea why, while waking up, I was thinking about John Wilkes Booth on his deathbed.  Welcome to my brain.

Note that going into surgery I just had one IV inserted.  In my preferred choice for such things, the top of my right hand.  Sure sign you are getting older:  You have a preferred IV location.  Anyway, I never got a good explanation as to why I ended up with two hands pierced, although it was clear that the second IV needle was about the size of something used for knitting, based on what I saw coming out and the pressure that needed to be applied to get the bleeding to stop.

Where does this all start?  Well one needs to go back to 2009 when I started to have some discomfort in my gut.  Over time said discomfort manifests itself in the form of a hernia, a type of which didn't require any immediate treatment (as noted by the passing of about 16 years).  My agreement with my doctors over the years was this would be treated if it caused me any problems.  Well, much like small squeaks in an older car eventually become loud squeaks, my gut issue got slowly worse over time.  While I could have tolerated the minor discomfort for longer, I also realized that I wasn't going to have an easier recovery from surgery if I waited longer, so I decided that this was the year.  Also not lost on me is the fact that I know two older people who waited too long to get hernias repaired.  Plans were made over the summer to do the deed on Wednesday, November 19th.

By the way, what I believed to be a single hernia ended up being three hernias.  Two of one type, the third being the largest and the original.

So yesterday was surgery day.  Everyone was prompt and the staff were exceptional, including my surgeon and the above-referenced Nurse Brittany.  Now I just need to heal and make some better life choices.  Fortunately, I have Ms. Rivers to help take care of me, which basically translates into preventing me from doing something stupid.  This is actually more time-consuming than one would think.

Speaking of healing, I am early into the process, so some on-going discomfort is to be expected.  By "discomfort" I mean something that ranges from a mild annoyance to it feeling like my abdomen is being used as Rocky's punching bag.  Not being able to cough is a bit of a drag as well.  

There are other gruesome details, but the point has been made.

This was, by the way, my 5th surgery (three as a child, one to fix my hand a few years ago and this).  Not having the need for a 6th would be pretty good in my book.

All things considered, I will be glad at some point in the not-too-distant future that I had this done now.  A sad fact of adulthood, as opposed to childhood, is that in the former, things almost never get better if you ignore them.  While I didn't ignore my little problem, well 3 little problems, now was the time.  I do have some time off from work, so I plan on not doing too much over the next few days.  Sometimes that's easier said than done, at least for me.

A final note:  As I was brought into the operating room, I saw the robotic device that was going to be intimate with my gut muscles.  My first question to the staff was "Do they call that the Hernia-nator 5000?"  I did get a laugh.  Speaking of laughter, that would hurt right about now, so I am going to quit while I am ahead.

AI and Discussions About Universal Basic Income

First, a brief explanatory video about what will really happen relative to the concept of Universal Basic Income as a remedy for AI created job losses.

Now, lest anyone think that I am simply fabricating this whole idea, I offer the following small sample...

Forbes:  AI and the Case for Universal Basic Income

Yahoo Finance:  Bill Gates Wants to Tax the Robots (to pay for universal basic income)

Bloomberg:  Sam Altman-Backed Group Completes Largest US Study on Basic Income

Wall Street Journal:  Tech Billionaires and Universal Basic Income

Fast Company:  Why Silicon Valley Loves Universal Basic Income

...and I could go on.

Here's the catch though:  This will never happen.  There will never be Universal Basic Income enacted in the United States.  Not now, not tomorrow, not 10 years from now.  Never.  Can anyone imagine any moderate or conservative politician in the United States, regardless of party affiliation, voting to support this?

I can't either.

So, why are these discussions being held if the outcome is more or less pre-ordained?

See the video, above.

Lucy represents big tech/business.

The football is Universal Basic Income.

Workers are Charlie Brown.

The underlying idea here is to propose Universal Basic Income as a means to get the average worker in the United States to not fear AI-created job losses.  Kind of a "Don't worry about losing your job to AI...we've got something in mind to help you out.  Now just keep working hard!".  Except for the fact that these same tech/business leaders know very well that Universal Basic Income is a non-starter.  The idea here is NOT to provide a solution for such job losses; rather the idea is to talk about something that will make people less concerned while AI actually does replace humans.  A small distraction is all that is needed here, as AI related job losses are not all going to happen at once; rather this will be something that evolves over the next few years.

As long as Lucy (big tech/business) holds out the football (Universal Basic Income), tech/business leaders hope that Charlie Brown (people doing work) will just keep running forward at breakneck speed.

Now could someone say, "Gee Steve, wasn't there fearmongering about job losses when the Internet became a thing"?  Sure, and that's fair commentary.  You can also look at household income in the United States over the Internet-era vs. GDP and see that it has not risen near as much as profits and productivity have during that same period.  This does point to a negative outcome, although the Internet is just one of many factors at play during this period. 

(source HERE)

To understand how AI will be different, well, you have to somewhat understand AI, which is beyond the scope of this posting.  What I will say is this: The ascension of AI will be more like the Industrial Revolution and than the advent of the Internet.  

Could I be wrong about all of the above?  Sure.  

But I'm not.

October 2025

I actually created this blog on October 27, 2008.  If you search by topic, you'll find that "October" is probably the most written topic in all these 2,189 published postings, although I have done a terrible job tagging said posts.  Bad blogger.  Anyway, personally and professionally, time and time again, October has consistently been probably the most challenging month of the year for me.  Yet I still welcome the month.  

Is this all about some weird version of the Stockholm Syndrome?  Have I been conditioned by October to admire it, despite reasons to the contrary?

No, I have a different theory: October has always been the month of change, be it for me or just the cycle of life stuff in general.  October has a way of being far different on its 1st day than its 31st, more dramatically so than any other month.  Be it going from 80's to 50's or thunderstorms to snow flurries, seasons pivot at October's whim.

Part of the pivot for me is the appreciation that summer has had its time in the spotlight, and I am personally tired of feeling broiled every time I do anything outside.  Granted that being cold doing anything outside is kind of a bummer as well, but for a few shining weeks, October offers a kind of mediation that makes time outside actually enjoyable.  

This year, October for me is at the forefront of some other changes that are coming not too far down the road.  I have a long-term physical issue that will be addressed via surgery next month, so there is work to be done to get ready for (as Fonzie once put it in an episode of Happy Days) "the rip out room".  Nothing life or death, but nevertheless very necessary.  Post that, I will be making some other changes with an eye towards improving my overall physical health.  

Another thing coming down the road is on the professional front, where I've already started to make some changes that will both help me on the physical front as well as help to improve the balance in my life.  That part of my life has been terribly out of balance for years now, which at the risk of repeating prior postings needs to change.  One thing that has changed?  I'm no longer doing the "coming in early and leaving when it's dark" thing.  

Lastly, and as I finish this posting, there are millions participating in No Kings Day protests across the nation.

Obviously, I am here writing this and not there protesting, but my hope is that this is yet another example of big change coming from October.  I will also note that, while I support this movement, I have yet to get a check from George Soros, I am not a member of Hamas or the mythical Antifa "organization", nor am I a Communist or an antisemite.  Instead, I am just a guy who wants a country where his children can grow old without fear of a far-reaching federal government bent on continuous revenge and intrusion into their lives, one that thinks nothing of dragging children out to be deported by masked men.

Here's to falling leaves and failing would-be dictators. 

Listed by Age

I had my annual business trip a few weeks ago, which by my prior travel standards is pretty lightweight stuff.  I specifically mean that, over the course of about 39 or so years in the workforce, only having to travel once a year is actually a bit of a refreshing change.  To digress for a moment, it's important to note the following from my personal perspective:

There is nothing good about business travel.  It involves a lot of running around, sometimes last-minute changes to arrangements, being "on" almost all the time, navigating different (and too much) food and having to be the buzzkill that doesn't drink alcohol.  

And I don't sleep well.  

I could go on, but the point is made.  Now I am exceptionally grateful for all of the opportunities I have had to travel on business.  In fact, the very first time I was ever on an airplane was a work trip for Prudential back in 1989. Over the years I got to see places as diverse as San Diego CA, Salt Lake City UT, Jackson MS, Minneapolis MN, etc.  I got to see a lot.  And at this stage, that's enough.

This particular business trip was something of an annual review meeting and planning session for the next year, held in Fort Worth, Texas.  I like Fort Worth, by the way, as it has a fairly laid-back feeling about it and the people have proven themselves to be exceptionally nice over the decades.  Why they elect folks like Rafael "I don't want to seem Hispanic" Cruz to the U.S. Senate is beyond me.  Side note, he doesn't need to learn Spanish for the Bad Bunny Superbowl halftime show because he already speaks it (just don't tell anyone, as it's a secret...I am kidding...he once got into a Spanish argument with Marco Rubio, which was very entertaining).

The meetings went well.  In attendance was the leadership team for my work group, and I was glad to be a mere participant, although I ran a part of the meeting that focused on talent.  My co-workers are good folks from across the country (coming into Fort Worth from Chicago, San Diego, Grand Rapids MI, Houston, and of course Northeastern PA).  Things moved along rather nicely.  Among my jobs during the meeting was to be what I'll call the "Slide Monkey", a.k.a. the person who got to show and navigate PowerPoint presentations for others.  

Now to the "Listed by Age" part.

Between presentations, for whatever reason, we had a brief discussion about how old everyone was, as in "Who here thinks they are the oldest in the room?".  Honestly, it was no contest.  I was the oldest, by about 10 years.  Thankfully, either by honest reaction or mere pity, one of my peers was surprised at my age.  Now I get the fact that such things may make HR folks* cringe, but as I noted before, my co-workers are good folks, so I wasn't too bothered by it.  Key word there being "too".

It was later that day when the whole age discussion became part of a nexus of things happening in my life related to career, next steps, purpose, etc.  It was a kind of cosmic breadcrumb leading me down a path.  

As the week continued, I felt even more aware of my age, in a way that has never really occurred to me before. And this isn't because of health challenges that I (and others who are getting up in years) face, but rather it really was more of an attitude/awareness kind of thing.  For one of the first times in my life, I actually felt old.

I own the above, for the record.  It doesn't make me sad.  I have no thoughts of dirt napping.  I don't feel washed-up, out of touch or some kind of technological Luddite.  I felt differentiated in a way, and it was okay.

Finally, and only quasi-related to the above, during the offsite the team had a rather brisk discussion about the use of AI tools such as Chat GPT.  Surprisingly, it was not the old people (*cough* me) that were the most adverse to it.  I respected the opinions shared, although it's very, very clear that, at this juncture, if you are in the business world, you need to be comfortable using these kinds of tools.  To end this post, I will share a few thoughts about AI...

• It's just another tool
• Unfortunately, it can be an excuse for people to effectively outsource sincerity when it comes to written interactions with others
• In creative endeavors, it is effectively intellectual property theft (see the "No AI Training" disclaimer of this site)

I don't worry about the businesspeople out there when it comes to AI...they will learn to use it.  Instead I worry about grade school kids not learning how to string original thoughts together using the written word.  This will not serve anyone's interest.

(*) By way of disclosure, I have a Master of Science degree in Human Resources from Villanova University and I am a Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) Senior Certified Professional.

The Reverend David Rivers

Very recently, my father-in-law, Rev. David Rivers, passed away after a long illness.  You can read his obituary HERE.

Smarter and more eloquent folks than I will write better remembrances of David, so I'm not even going to try to be anything other than simple and honest.  Here goes.

I remember vividly the very first time I met Ms. Rivers' father:  It was a family gathering at Grotto Pizza, Harvey's Lake, around Christmas time.  This was my introduction to much of Ms. Rivers' family, and I was a bit unsure of things.  One of the reasons why...and I swear this is the absolute truth...was that I had never really met a Protestant clergy member before.  I literally didn't know what to expect.  Now in all fairness, Ms. Rivers did somewhat prepare me for the event, but there is only so much that can be done in situations like this.  Anyway, I entered Grotto Pizza, and one of the first people I met was David, who was in attendance with his brother Dick Rivers (a retired and well-regarded coal company attorney from Philadelphia).  Upon meeting me, the very first thing out of his mouth, along with his brother, was a Dolly Parton joke.  I kid you not.  They laughed, and I was mainly confused.  This was my introduction to Protestant clergy.  And to Ms. Rivers' family.

I love telling the above story, by the way.  

This is the part where I say that I was welcomed into the family, etc.  That is true, by the way.  Here's the thing about David though: More so than the vast majority of folks I've ever met, he was very smart, but equally unassuming.  Whatever I thought about how an Episcopal priest should be mattered not when it came to him.  On more than one occasion over the years he would ask me a question about something happening in "The Roman Church", requiring me to basically speak for all of Roman Catholicism.  This is, by the way, an almost frighteningly humorous position for me to be in.  Anyway, I didn't mind, because he would ask out of a genuine interest in the discussion.  There was never any semblance of being judged...there was only an honest interest in my opinion and the discussion to be had as a whole.  I've since come to regard the Episcopal Church as being a kind of home, with the Rev. David Rivers personally exemplified its very best.

In addition to being the "family Catholic" there were/are other differences that one would think could (but actually didn't) make me feel out of place in the Rivers family, including abstaining from alcohol, my limited choices in food...best described by many as "eating like a toddler"...my lack of interest in folk music, or the Phillies, etc.  But none of that ever seemed to matter with David, as he had a wonderful ability to see people and things in ways that transcended mere labels.  

Finally, I will note that, of all the Rivers siblings (daughters Christine, Julie, Diana and son John), I think my wife is the most like her father.  They have shared a similar temperament, a quiet sort of deep intelligence, and a strong sense of real-world morality.  Both represent the very definition of "good people", and my life has forever been changed for the better by knowing them.  While David is gone, his living legacy remains, carried forward wonderfully by all of his children, especially his oldest daughter Christine.

"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on" 

Irving Berlin 

Checking In

Saying that there has been a lot going in and around me over the past few months is a bit like saying "Nickelback may not be the most popular band out there".  Apologies if you actually like Nickelback, by the way.  So yes, things have been busy.

The swirl of things on "the outside", i.e., the news of the world, social media and such, is borderline blinding, to the point where I don't know that anyone could consume a steady stream of this and remain healthy.  This might be why so many seem like they are not so mentally healthy these days.  As for me, I am trying my best to be on an information diet, consuming enough to be informed, but not so much that I find myself falling into a literal rage vortex of every-circling feces.  Sometimes this strategy works; other times it does not.  I don't see too many alternatives out there though.  This isn't intended to hide myself from righteous outrage, but it is to prevent myself from constant outrage.  

In an odd sort of way I think that some of the powerful actually want a perpetually outraged populace.  They are like magicians...by getting folks to focus on the hand of outrage, they hope that they won't see the other hand engaging in near constant personal enrichment.  The trick for all of us is to be informed...but not distracted.  It's a tough act.

All of the above noted, I will note that I have followed, to an extent, the death of conservative media personality Charlie Kirk.  Getting killed right in front of your family during a public event with videos running everywhere is not exactly a dignified way for someone to end their life.  So yes, I do understand the outrage at his death that some feel. Here's the TRULY troubling part from those same people outraged at this recent death:

WHERE IS THIS SAME OUTRAGE WHEN LITTLE CHILDREN ARE GUNNED DOWN IN SCHOOL?

WHY ISN'T THE PRESIDENT HONORING THIS HERO CHILD*?

(*) See this video:  https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mZ3QUJz8yCI  (or any of the hero teachers who saved children during the all too common school shootings in this country.)

Let's be honest here:  The late Charlie Kirk has become more of an avatar for some rather than an actual violent crime victim.  It has become a reason to feed the outrage machine and distract from what the other hand is doing.  By the way, I received a donation solicitation from some scumbag feigning to be his widow last Thursday.  Yes, it's gotten that bad.

Oh, and let's talk about the "whataboutism"?  That would be "Oh yeah, well what about when _______ happened?".  Is that what I am engaging in right now?  

The simple answer is no.

The death of Charlie Kirk seems to be unique in U.S. political and social discourse.  What's not unique in U.S.?  Mass shootings and gun violence.  I actually think Charlie Kirk once spoke an uncomfortable truth about this very topic, a point which many of his followers conveniently now seem to forget:

(Validation:  https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/charlie-kirk-gun-deaths-quote/)

So in a very real sense, the death of Charlie Kirk is just "another" payment in our never-ending life debt to the Second Amendment. For the record, I don't think God gave us the right to kill each other with high-powered weaponry.

Let me be clear:  I am not placing any value judgement on the life of Charlie Kirk.  People can and have said that he was both a horrible human being and a brilliant cultural warrior.  Like most of us, he was a mix of both good and bad.  Personally, I have problem with anyone who demeans the value of another simply based on their religion, race, gender or ethnicity.  Was Charlie Kirk guilty of that?  Well you can find out for yourself.  

I would also be wary of any arugments that works along the lines of "well I only agree with some of what he said".  Why?  Because it depends on the things he said that one DOES NOT AGREE WITH.  Making stuff up, if he said that "I think there is too much crime in cities" and you disagree with that, such a thing is much different than "husbands should be allowed to vote for their wives" (again, just making something up...not attributed to him).  The magnitude of what you disagree with is an essential element in any evaluation of the person.  Failure to consider this runs into what I will call the "Fallacy of Mussolini", namely that "well, he made the trains run on time".  Yes he may have made the trains run on time, but he also did some terrible stuff that greatly outweighs the punctuality of public transportation.

The above standard should be held to Charlie Kirk as well.

The truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours

The title comes from a quote attributed to Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.  As I think about some recent events well, nothing could be further from the truth.

Decades of self-righteous talking heads, both male and female, made fodder over the decadence of rock musicians, heavy metal genre in particular.  Some of that was deserved, by the way.  But not all of it.  Then we have someone beloved by these conservative religious types, namely the current president of the United States, on a four-year quest for personal wealth enrichment.  Most recently, for example, using an official visit to Scotland to promote his golf course.  

On the other hand, we have the late Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath hold a concert that raised $190 million for charity.  Take Fox News' word for it...

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/ozzy-osbournes-legendary-final-performance-raised-staggering-190m-worthy-causes

...yeah, that Fox News.  Anyway, this was an Ozzy Osbourne who likely knew he was close to death but yet still wanted to do this one last thing.  Make that one last GOOD THING.  

There is a moral of this story in that sometimes what we think is black is actually white.  And what we are told is righteous is actually corrupt.  To the extent judgement is requested, wanted or needed, such a thing should be based on actions, not words.  For example, the "immoral Prince of Darkness" helping to raise $190 million for charity vs. the Christian Nationalist favorite president who had to pay a $2 million penalty for mis-using charity funds.  

https://ag.ny.gov/press-release/2019/donald-j-trump-pays-court-ordered-2-million-illegally-using-trump-foundation

In the end, I know that Ozzy Osbourne was no saint.  But the president of the United States isn't either.  Given the choice though, I'll go with the guy who wanted to make people enjoy music, as opposed to the guy who sucks up to dictators and thinks that concentration camps are perfectly okay.

Files? We don’t got no stinking files! Or maybe do, but they are fake! Obama!

 

                                        (Real, actual tweet from the president’s oldest, circa 2023; citation HERE.)

Here’s the most interesting part of the whole debacle that has been the current president’s handling of the Epstein case:  I think there’s about a 50/50 chance that he (the current president*) wasn’t a client of the previously mentioned modern-Day Monster (henceforth simply “The Monster”).  I say this for two reasons:

1.            He is a notorious germaphobe.

2.            With him, it always goes back to money and greed.

To that second point, I think the relationship with The Monster was likely far more about making money than it was the exploitation of children. The abuse of children is not impossible, but I am saying that it wasn't the primary driver.

Oh, and before I forget to mention it, let’s all agree that the term “underaged women” or similar words are repugnant in that they are an attempt to soft sell the crimes committed.  These were CHILDREN that were abused. 

Given this, why the utterly ridiculous denial of The Monster’s client list in the first place?  Again, note that this is after using the client list as a literal hammer to go after opponents for YEARS.  See Junior's actual Tweet, above.  Anyway, here’s my theory:

•              There is a list.

•              Even if he was not a client, he’s referenced in it repeatedly.

•              It’s not really just him that’s being protected…instead it’s his class of people.

That third bullet is the key.  We all want to believe that supervillains who do terrible things are fictional, but what if it were true that the multi-multi-millionaire and billionaire classes can use their money and power to, for example, exploit children for the very worst of reasons?  What if some of these folks were names that we would all recognize (akin to “Prince” Andrew)?  This class of people has conditioned the masses to believe that they are better than the rest of us.  More successful.  More powerful.  Simply better.  But what if they are worse?  How would the 99% of folks who are not in these upper echelons of society react if it became common knowledge that one of the privileges that money buys is the sexual assault of children?

What if all of this were about protecting the image of the rich and powerful?  Now I am not prone to conspiracy  theories, but in this case, we have something of a tiny peephole into reality, namely the case of Britian’s Prince Andrew.  You can read more about that HERE.

A bottom line of sorts:  Release the damn list.  Release everything.  Every name.  Every connection.  Every log.  Every scrap of paper.  Make this a teachable, wake-up moment for modern society where an uncaring population must come face to face with the fact that being rich and powerful can sometimes make you a monster who does terrible, terrible things.  Lay bare the fact that unrestricted wealth and power can have horrible consequences.  Force us to reconcile a society that promotes high ideals but allows the lowest of behaviors when money is involved.  Remind us that some are above the law by virtue of money and power, even if we pretend that justice is somehow equal.

Nothing can or will change until we face reality first.

 

 

(*) His name is a trademark.  I don’t reference trademarks here, and I don’t want anything I note to, in any way, shape or form be seen as promoting him or his “brand”.

An Unusual Summer

It feels like summer has just begun.  This could be for a few different reasons…
 
…the weather has been decidedly un-summer-esque, with tons of rain
…because of the above, I haven’t been able to do much outside
…my brother’s passing in late April
 
…plus, the usual suspects of being tired from earn-a-living work stuff and just generally not always feeling all that well.
 
I fully realize that some of the above I can impact, while others, well, not so much. 
 
In any event, I have started to get some of my summer mojo back, having mostly cleaned out the garage, temporarily fixing the garage door, putting together a bench (that was sitting in my shed for over a year) and organizing some tools.  There was also the incident yesterday when I was using my miter saw and it nearly cut the tip of my thumb open (thank God for thumbnails), but we shall not discuss that any further.
 
I’ve also been starting to get some more important things done, such as getting a new pair of glasses.  My old pair, which I had for about a year, were simply horrible, as they were too large, kept sliding down my nose, and a few other things.  Having been wearing glasses since I was 5 years old, one would think that I would be able to always pick out good frames, but there was a lesson learned in last year’s selection: Don’t allow yourself to be sold something you don’t really want.  I remember getting the glasses last year at a time when the opticians’ office was very crowded, they didn’t have the kind of frames I wanted, I felt rushed and pushed to accept something that I didn’t think would work.  In any event, and as noted, lessons learned, and new glasses should be ready this week.
 
As a side note, I am currently wearing a pair from a few years ago that are working well.  See above (thumb…) as to why I really need to be wearing my glasses.  All of the time.
 
Hanging over all of that over the last few months has been the news, particularly that of what has come out of Washington D.C.  This continues to be something of a dark time, for many reasons I have already explained in the past.  This cannot end soon enough.
 
While summer from a “doing summery stuff” perspective has been lagging, what hasn’t lagged has been the actual calendar.  It feels like summer is going by too quickly.  Part of this I readily acknowledge is the fact that time in general seems to pass by more quickly the older I get.  That’s a kind of cruel joke. 
 
What won’t be a part of this summer is any kind of multi-day trip.  With Ms. Rivers starting a new job and the 6 weeks of new hire training for me at work (as in my conducting…), the timing hasn’t been good.  We will probably go on some kind of trip in October though, after time off has accumulated (Ms. Rivers) and (hopefully) I won’t be in perpetual new hire training.  We shall see.
 
Speaking of trips, over dinner yesterday, Ms. Rivers and I brainstormed all the trips we would like to take in the years to come, before we get too old and decrepit.  While we still have to prioritize these things, here’s the list… 

Ireland

 

Hawaii 

 

Caribbean

 

Puerto Rico 

 

Oregon/Seattle 

 

Southwest/Arizona/New Mexico

 

Las Vegas

 

Michigan/Mackinaw Island

 

Mississippi River Cruise

 

Savannah GA

 

Toronto 

 

Canadian Train Trip

 

Norway/Sweden 

 

England - London

 

England - Liverpool, Wales

 

Germany - Rhine River Cruise

 

France - Paris

 

Mediterranean Cruise

 

Italy - Rome, Florence 

 
…given the math associated with getting older, I think we should get started.
 
Finally, and speaking of summer, while visiting my sister-in-law on the 4^th, I spent a few quality minutes with her beehive.  It’s a good reminder of what is important in life, and I am not talking about honey, which I don’t particularly like anyway.  No, this is more about order, simplicity and purpose…
 
 

 

…all of which the world could use a bit more of these days.

Road Apples, #181

 

It's been a while since I've written a Road Apples posting.  A very long time in fact, well in how time seems to flow these days.  Anyway, here we go.

The Ugly Times

I was thinking about how, in 10 years' time (and God willing my mortal coil has not yet extinguished), I will look back at this point and time in our nation's history.  The best I've come up with is the phrase "The Ugly Times".  There is no defending ripping families apart.  No justification for masked individuals purporting to be federal law enforcement officers but yet not in uniform, taking people out of their homes, places of work, immigration courts (the irony is steamy in those cases) and schools.  In this country law enforcement serves the people, a concept that runs counter to faceless people piling out of an SUV to abduct someone.

Yes, we can enforce the nation's immigration laws, but this is not the path.  In 10 years' time, many will feel shame.  I hope.  If they are even capable.

Retirement

Being in my very early 60's, I've been more seriously thinking about retirement.  I am very interested in opinions from others about retiring "early".  If someone could retire at age 62, for example, should they?  A key parameter to consider:  Through a combination of hard work and luck, the financial aspect of retiring early isn't much an issue for me.  Any opinions you may have would be greatly appreciated.  Feel free to comment or email me at steve_g1964@hotmail.com.

Note:  If there is someone out there reading this who feels compelled to spam me or offer any other kind of solicitation, my reply will be the entire Unibomber Manifesto.  I am not kidding.

It's Raining (for a change)

It's not raining now as I start writing this, but it is virtually guaranteed that, by the time I finish it (in a day or so) it will have rained at least once.  In years past, for example, a forecast of "23% chance of rain" pretty much meant that it wasn't going to rain.  This year?  That means that it will absolutely, positively be raining at some point.  Has forecasting gotten that bad?  Was "Big Balls" set loose at NOAA?

Don't Look Back in Anger

I was eating lunch last weekend at a burger place and this song was playing in the background with its chorus of "And so Sally can wait, she knows it’s too late...".  Never heard it before.  I googled the lyrics, and it is from "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis.  In addition to being just a great song, it seems to fit with the premise noted in the first part of this posting.

 (Fun Fact:  The song is sung by the lessor crazy Gallagher brother, Noel).

It also feels oddly fitting when I think about how I have been feeling over the past few weeks.  I'm not holding onto any real anger towards anyone else.  Maybe though this is about holding onto other things well past their appropriate time.  This is part of the magic of music I know to be true: It is almost entirely non-linear in that what I hear may not be what was intended or what others hear.  Like I said, magic.

Father's Day...in the Living Years

For whatever reason, I've recently realized that the song The Living Years is just about as great a song about fatherhood as has ever been crafted.

 

For the record this does not remind me of my own father.  While I've written about my father in the past and am not really all that interested in revisiting things now, I'll simply state that my father was not in any measurable way a part of my life.  He was, in essence, a kind of "anti-example".  If anything, the lyrics of The Living Years make me think about my own legacy as a father, as well as others that I know who had fathers that were a part of their lives.

Here's the thing about legacies though: They are always written backward in time, likely in a time and place where the mortal coil will have ceased functioning.

I think the best fathers are very aware of the things they wished they had done differently, which seems to me to be the real message of the song The Living Years.  I know that there are things I wish I had done differently, but I also know that at any given moment in those past times, I was trying to do the best I could.  More than anything else, I tried to simply be present, unlike my own father.  I also hope that I have provided some sense of stability, of reasonability, of order of a sort in a world that I knew was becoming increasingly unstable, unreasonable and chaotic.  You just need to read the news to see this displayed in real time.

These days I live in what I've told Ms. Rivers is the paradox of conscious parenting: You prepare your sons and daughters to be independent and live out in the real world, making their own lives, which will often mean that you see them less.  While there have been things going on in my life that aren't necessarily very positive, words cannot express how very happy I was for my daughters to all be there when Ms. Rivers and I had an early anniversary get together a few weeks ago.  For about 2 hours when they were there, I was able to be immersed in the very best thing I have ever done as a human.

In the final analysis, I try to be a humble person, but when I think about how my children are doing, well, I have to give myself some extra grace in the pride department.  

So Happy Father's Day to all the dads that showed up, did their best, and have gotten the opportunity to look with pride upon their children, whether that view be from this world or the next.  

* * * * * *

The Living Years

(songwriters B.A.Roberston, Mike Rutherford)

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So Don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be OK.

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

Let's Be Careful Out There

 

It think it is most definitely appropriate to begin this post about current events with a scene from one of my favorite television shows ever, Hill Street Blues.

In the case of this posting, it's not just the police I think should be careful out there, but everyone.  I speak of what's happening at this very moment in Los Angeles, California.  A few disjointed thoughts are in order.

We don't use the military against our own citizens in the United States.  If you are not from the U.S. this may not seem like much, but it is a very, very big deal.  And that line has been crossed with, as of this writing, the deployment of about 700 Marines in Los Angeles.

I grieve for the individuals living in fear of deportation.  It's a fabrication...a fiction of the highest order...that every immigrant in the U.S. who is not legally here is a criminal.  They are simply the target of a bigot, picked because, based on their status, they offer zero in the way of political resistance.  

I admire the protesters in Los Angeles.  Are there opportunists using this as an excuse to sow anarchy?  Sure.  Are the vast majority of those protesting upholding the best ideals we have...standing up for others, for their community...standing up to oppression?  Absolutely.  They are heroes.

Irony is dead in Washington D.C. among many Republicans.  You can't call what happened on January 6th a peaceful event on one hand and then condemn what is happening in Los Angeles on the other.  Yet many are, and it is beyond ironic.

We should hold the police, government agents and the military to the highest possible standards of conduct.  For example, United States Marines swear an oath to uphold the Constitution and follow orders...as long as those orders don't violate the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  No member of the military should be blindly following orders.  

Whether you’re talking about soldiers in the field or generals in the theater of battle, the general rule is service members have a duty to obey lawful orders. But there is also a duty to disobey manifestly unlawful orders—that is, orders that a person of ordinary sense and understanding would know to be unlawful.  [Citation HERE.]

I am sure there are individuals among the government agents, police, National Guard and Marines who are deeply troubled by what they are being asked to do.  Spoken far better than I...

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/14uCUYHkaA/

I fear this will get worse.  One need only remember what happened a few years ago...

https://www.npr.org/2022/05/09/1097517470/trump-esper-book-defense-secretary

...to fully grasp what could be happening.

Call me overly dramatic.  I don't care.  Ditto to charges of being "liberal" or many of its variations.  What is happening in our country is wrong.  We should not be the country of deporting children from schools.  We should not be a country of bullies.  We should not be the country where the military polices cities.  If you happen to believe otherwise, well that's your prerogative, and your soul.

Ad meliorem locum

There was no grand plan for my brother Joe's burial service to be on the same day as his birthday...it just worked out that way, which I was reminded of courtesy of my watch this morning.

Actually, the plan for Joe's service today was made last week, after consulting with a few different folks.  Somehow the birthday connection seems fitting.

For those that did not know my brother, he was the youngest of 4 (now 2) Albert Boys, all a year apart in age.  I'd like to think that we were all very different in many ways, but that was especially true for Joe.  Avoiding any long screeds about life growing up, I will instead note that we didn't have a particularly nurturing home environment, and while I know Joe was taken care of to a greater degree by our mother early on, as they both grew older, well, it became more difficult for Joe.  This is because each of us, except Joe, found a way to escape our upbringing in some way.  After high school graduation, Rich went headlong into work/school, I went to school for the next 4 years, and Chris went into the Navy.  Joe remained.

In one respect (pretty much only), my younger brother's disability was probably a blessing in the sense that he didn't process our world growing up in the same way that his brothers did, and in the ways that caused us to plot our escapes.  

Speaking of disability, Joe didn't see himself that way.  I know he was aware of being different, but that wasn't a major part of what shaped his life from his perspective.  Just like everyone else, I think he just was trying his best, getting up each day, and doing his thing.  An increasingly complex world meant that some things raced past him, including a working environment that required a use of technology that became beyond his own capabilities.  He didn't bemoan this fact by the way, but in typical Joe fashion, he just accepted it.  This is something that I would be incapable of doing myself.  I will note that Joe worked full time until he was nearly 50 years old.  As indicated above, Joe had the ability to show up, which is not something that everyone has in this day and age.

Speaking of support, our mother never sought out any additional support for Joe growing up, for reasons that died with her more than a decade ago.  The Scranton School District though was very supportive of him.  The bashers of public education seem chronically unable to acknowledge the fact that public schools take those students that private schools would never have in the first place, and in Joe's case, provide him with a valuable education. While schools like to point with pride to the high, mighty and credentialed as examples of their success, I offer the fact that my brother is a different kind of success story...but a success story nevertheless.

I know that the time Joe spent with our mother in the years before she passed away were difficult for him, as our mother was not an easy person to be around.  But yet Joe almost never complained, even though he certainly had the cause to do so.  After our mother's passing, myself, Rich and Chris decided that it was time for Joe to begin to receive some of the services for which he was entitled.  Credit goes to my brother Rich for the heavy lifting associated with getting Joe the financial support he needed to live independently.  My role was to make sure that he did not outlive his financial resources and that, to the greatest extent possible, he was protected from the many ways modern life has of separating the unwitting from their money.

There were, by the way, many ways in which attempts were made to take advantage of Joe over the years.  None of us can make someone else live in a bubble, and in trying to give Joe an independent life, there were bound to be instances where he was taken advantage of.  But there were countless examples also where, between Rich and me, bad things were prevented.  

If you didn't know my brother (and there were many in the Scranton, PA area that did), he was something of an open book...what you see is what you got.  He was friendly towards others, especially back in the days when he worked at the Mall at Steamtown, and his height (6'5") combined with red hair made him stand out in a crowd.  By the way, Joe's standard line when I introduced him to others was "I am his little brother, but I am taller than him" (or words to that effect).  Admittedly, this could be a bit annoying, but I take some solace in the facts that:

A) It was factually correct

B) Making fun of your brother is what brothers have done for as long as there have been brothers

Now I am left being the tallest Albert brother.  It's not much of a consolation prize, thank you very much.  Speaking of fitting in, his remains are now resting close to that of his mother, father and brother Chris.

(Band of Brothers:  Chris, Joe, Steve and Rich)

So, what's left?  Well, there is lawyer stuff and assorted other things to do, which I will be working on over the weeks and months to come. His apartment has been cleared out, thanks to a ton of work by Rich (and I provided an assist), and the local Goodwill now has a large selection of firefighter tee shirts for sale from which the residents of the greater Scranton area can browse.  There were also a decade's worth of cargo pants which I bought for him every Christmas that were lightly used (in later years, Joe's decided preference was sweatpants).  Some Scranton-area thrift shoppers looking for size 42x32 pants may be in luck as well.  It's odd to think about his clothes at a time like this, but if you knew Joe, you knew how seriously he took firefighter stuff, so that fact that his collections of very lightly used and dozens of firefighter-themed shirts will live to see other torsos in the future is oddly comforting.

Time will also march on, and for Joe, that will be to a better place (hence the title...with apologies for any Latin grammatical errors on my part).  I am served with yet another reminder that life has a way of changing in ways that can be expected but not necessarily timely.  Speaking of time, I am hoping to have much more of it on this Earth, where I will do my best to be the better person Joe probably thought I was*.

No one else is allowed to die for a while now.  Okay?

(*) Just kidding.  I think he mostly thought I was a pain in the a$$, which I was, but that was part of what I did to help take care of him.

OLD

Preface...I started and (mostly) finished this before the passing of my brother Joe.  I have more thoughts on that (my brother's passing), which may get into another posting eventually.  But for now, a few thoughts on the subject of getting older.

 

Yes, another year and I am officially older now.  No sense throwing out statistics, but let’s just say I am old enough to be considered grown up, although I don’t always think of myself that way.  My body sometimes takes offense to that second part, and routinely reminds me of such, but that sort of thing happens to all of us.  Yes, age truly is the great equalizer.  Body part showing signs of wear and tear duly noted, I have a lot to be thankful for as I jet past this life anniversary:

 I have daughters and stepsons who are healthy, very smart and doing well.

I have a wife who is my favorite non-cat and who tolerates my (many) idiosyncrasies.

I continue to have dual gifts of curiosity and persistency.

 I can still hear the birds, smell the flowers, feel soft cat snuggles, and taste good pizza.

This is not to say that all is well and perfect, because it ain’t.  As alluded to above, I need to take better care of myself physically, which I know is intrinsically linked to my own mental health.  Speaking of mental health, I am also blessed that, in spite of many reasons to the contrary sometimes, I still wake up each day thinking about the things I want…and often have…to do, without it being overwhelming.  In fact, I will say that getting older has been decidedly better for my mental health, as I often now days find myself asking “why should I even care about this?” frequently.  This is a very good thing, by the way.

As a side note, if there is one self-help book everyone should read, it’s this one:

 
(you can find it HERE on Amazon)

When I think about what has informed my outlook on things over the last few years, I have to acknowledge how important this book has been.

Back to being older.

Ms. Rivers asked me if I had any ruminations about starting the first full decade of my 60's.  Well, here we go:

Whether we want to admit it or not, we never really escape our childhood

The older I get the more I find depth in simplicity

Comfort > Fashion

Life does not happen in a linear progression

Most dogs are better than most people...which is why I don't own a dog

This is Water should be required reading for everyone

Anger is the ultimate waste of time and energy

Ponder this:  John Lennon was 25 years old when he wrote "Nowhere Man"; by that measure we are all abject failures

It's okay to have regrets; it's just not okay to live a life centered around them

The older I get the better I am at managing pain (of all kinds)

What most folks get wrong about Star Trek?  The Enterprise is as much a character in the show as Kirk or Spock (which is what the newer movies get wrong)

Cats are necessary because they remind us that we are not the center of the universe...they are

You only truly miss a sibling when they pass away

The only people who say "I never use Algebra as an adult" are those who really didn't pay all that much attention in Algebra class

The older I get the more I am okay with not knowing everything...and that's a long list

The chorus in the song #9 Dream (“Ah! böwakawa poussé, poussé”) doesn't mean anything...and yet it is perfect for the task; the lesson?  Not everything has to mean something

The Great Gatsby still sucks

"Love makes your heart pound!", yeah, well often true love is the most calm thing you can feel

Smell the flowers

Anyone can sing or write or dance...it's just that not everyone can do one or all of those things well

There's nothing more stupid and pathetic than someone who mistakes cruelty for genius

My life has been fine without Brocolli

Don't buy cheap shoes

Do buy cheap tools...until you have the money to buy good ones

Truly smart people don't have to remind you of how smart (they think) they are

It's impossible to overrate the importance of smelling good

Being confident is far less important than seeming like you are confident

Playing a musical instrument is a super-power

Beavis > Butthead

There are only two kinds of pick-up trucks:  Those for work and those for show; I don't trust people who owns one just for show

Someone's right to get high or drunk (or other such things) ends at the tip of their nose and does not extend to forcing me to involunintarily participate in their stupidity

Never, ever underestimate the importance of good dental hygiene 

In business, the order is "ready-aim-fire" (not "ready-fire-aim")

There's really no such thing about chaos...there's a pattern to everything, as long as you have a large enough population and the time to analyze it all

A hot shower cures many ills

Plants remind us that there is a season for everything

It's perfectly okay to like Supertramp and Ramstein and Strauss

John Mellencamp is right:  An honest man's pillow IS his peace of mind

Mission accomplished.  Back to getting older.

There is work yet to be done.

I am inching towards retirement one of these years.  Maybe sooner rather than later.  We shall see.  Part of what goes with this is the very real question of just what the heck would I do with myself when I do retire?  I have thoughts, but I acknowledge that I need to think about this more over this next life cycle.  Having things like that to think about is a good thing.

I also need to work on my people-ing skills.  The odd part of this is the fact that I’m better at that sort of thing when I am being paid for it (a.k.a., at work) but pretty terrible at it otherwise.  Part of me wonders if I have this notional human interaction bank that currently gets mostly drained at work, leaving not much left for my civilian life.  It’s an interesting theory.

All of the above noted, it’s time to begin the next rotation around the sun.

More to come.